Monday, December 31, 2012

The New Year is TOMORROW!!!!

I love December 31st.  When you bid someone a goodbye, you get to say "see you next year!".  The holidays are over, and a new routine will settle into place.  Resolutions are made (and broken).  The new year means turning over a new leaf!

I ended up gaining 7 lbs over Christmas.  Now, don't get me wrong, I stayed Paleo, just on the far edge of it.  Lots of Paleo-ized goodies, including French Toast (made with banana bread) and lots of bacon!  This morning I began with a 2 lb loss (yea!), only 5 more to go until I hit Virgin Fat Territory (VFT) again.

While cruising thru the web, I noticed a lot of folks (Mel at the clothes make the girl and Michelle over at Nom Nom Paleo) are going to do a Whole 30 to start off the new year.

If you haven't done one, head on over to Melissa and Dallas Hartwig's site and check it out.  30 days of healthy eating.  You have 3 meals (each consisting of a SERVING of meat and 1 to 2 cups of veggies, and an added healthy fat).  No snacking.  No sugar (you may have fruit).  Plenty of recipes from Nom Nom Paleo, Melissa Joulwan's book Well Fed, and The Foodie Project, a web site with TONS of Whole 30 Approved recipes.  There is no way to be bored, and the bonus?  Getting healthy/healthier!

I had made plans to do this in 2012, I even bought Melissa and Dallas' book It Starts With Food, but I didn't do the challenge (silly me!).  I am going to join the Elite of the Paleo world and do the challenge myself!  I invite you to join me.  What is there to lose?  Is there something bad about being healthy?  Eating whole foods?  Ditching soda for water?  The side effect of LOSING WEIGHT!  Very awesome and powerful stuff.

I especially recommend doing the Whole 30 as an introduction into the Paleo way of eating (it's not a diet, it's a life style).  It's a great way to try it out.  You can do anything for 30 days, even ditch the grains, breads, sugars, legumes.  Hey, it's only one month.  Try it!

I will keep everyone posted on what I am doing and eating.  How I feel, and how to overcome the sugar cravings (yep, I get them too!).

See you next year!

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Being Naughty, Being Nice

Naughty was scarfing down a bunch of homemade LaraBars.  Nice was not gaining.  Naughty was succumbing to impulse.  Nice was realizing that I messed up, and banned all sweets for the time being.

Give and take.

Being aware of what you are doing, or at least what you did.  Not beating yourself up.  If you bought it, pay for it.  I was lucky.  I didn't gain, but I could have.  Instead of being reactive, I was proactive and deleted sugar/sweets from my diet for the time being.  Not even a piece of my beloved dark chocolate (and it's 90%!). 

I have the "bread" monster under control, but that is only one head of the beast.  Now it's time to get the sugar "head" under control.  Sugar is pretty sneaky, and is in so much.  Yes, fruit is good for you, but only in small quantities.  And, a lot depends on the fruit.  Because they are in season, I am partial to oranges right now, but will abstain for a while, until I can find a balance, and say no to the sweeties...

The dinner party went well.  I haven't posted about it yet, mainly because my computer and smart phone won't speak to each other.  The CPU I am using is more than a decade old, and slow slow slow, and running XP.  In February we'll be getting a new CPU, which will have a terabyte of memory!  This one still counts in megabytes!

With the end of the world only 3 days away (on the 21st) and Christmas a week away, plans are in motion to make sure we eat well for both, LOL.

The Christmas menu is being planned.  I am still wanting tri-tip, and just might do a ham (leftovers last longer!).  I promised the Colonel that I would serve mashed potatoes.  I am going to switch to Yukon Golds (hopefully organic and non GMO), as see how we do with those.

My beloved Colonel asked how I was losing a pound and a half every two days.  This is a tricky question.  For a while I couldn't eat eggs, since they would make me gain, now I can eat eggs and not gain.  He has a reasonable concern.  While on hCG, I lost weight because I was eating 500 calories a day, no weight loss mystery there, but now, I eat about 1500 + calories daily, and am still losing. 

Many things come into play.  The type of food.  Staying away from processed foods is the biggest help.  The Standard American Diet (SAD) is designed to pack on the pounds with whole grains that are processed and fortified to become a quick and cheap energy source.  You will never find a spaghetti noodle tree in the wild.  Bread cannot be harvested as bread.  You cannot put a cow in a snow storm and milk out ice cream.  The more something is processed, no matter how much it's "fortified", is not good for the human body.

Another thing is just plain ol' biology.  Since I am still a "breeding" woman (no more children thank you!), I still, biologically, prepare to carry a child every 28 days.  Not only retaining water and building a backlog of blood, but my body will hang on to fat to prepare to carry a baby.  It's during these 2 weeks that the weight is difficult to lose.  This is something I want to research more to see if I am on track with this idea.

Everyone who is carrying extra fat is trying to find the "magic pill" to rid them of these unwanted pounds.  It's hard to change your views on food.  Since my sugar binge the other day, I too, am having issues with this.  Sweets/sugars/carbs act on the brain like heroin.  You have some, you want some more, you dive face first into Grandma's Cheesecake.  No rhyme or reason!  It's the addiction.  It makes your brain feel good.  It's not good for you, but it FEELS good.  How can we combat that?  By not indulging in these things.  First, you have to get control, by not eating the "feel good" foods.  Keeping them away from you as much as possible.  You also have to understand, that if you have a sweet, you will want more, and have a battle plan to deal with the aftermath of eating a sweet.

It's just not fair, but then again, neither is life.  There are Carb Crunchers out there who can suck down every pastry, sandwich, and dinner roll, in sight, and not gain.  Then there is me.  I feel like I am gaining weight just looking at a doughnut on TV (heaven forbid I get a good whiff of a fresh doughnut!)!

I try to depend on logic and common sense, which does get overided by emotional response.  It's keeping the logic in the forefront, and a tight lid on my emotions, as they pertain to food.

Food is food.  We need it to live.  What we don't need is to make it the end all be all of our universe.  When food was the center of my universe I weighed 325 + lbs.  Now, food is an interesting problem, like a math problem.  I put more thought into food now, in a pseudo-scientific way.  It's a problem to be solved, not a drug I turn to for emotional support.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Doin' OK Even With a Christmas Party on the Horizon

Down 1.2 lbs!  Yea!

I am almost at my first mini goal, 195 (1.2 lbs to go).  I am formulating a plan for today.  I am thinking IF with some broth until dinner.

I have an interesting dilemma coming up, Friday is my husband's company Christmas Party.  It is probably going to be a banquet, which will totally fly in the face of my Paleo-ness.  Rumor is that it is going to be Turkey and all the trimmings.  The problem comes in because of all the gravy, stuffing, mashed taters, and everything else.  I am hoping that I can corral the service staff and just get a plate of plain turkey and veggies, possibly a salad.  If not, I will be gracious, and just drink my iced tea, while keeping up a steady stream of conversation.  Did I ever tell you how much I don't like to talk small?  Weather talk is just stupid, when there is so much more going on in the world!  And, when people's lives are infinitely more interesting!

Another thing that is going to be difficult to deal with is being the center of attention.  The last Christmas Party, I talked about taking hCG, but most haven't seen me since then.  I am hoping that one of the wives will be there with her advanced pregnancy, and I can turn conversation toward the new baby, rather than my loss of 130 pounds and eating Paleo.

When my dinner arrives, all eyes just might be on me.  Again, I will just be gracious, and hopefully, we can skip out quickly.

I am probably worried about nothing.  I do plan to blog about the evening for my Primal and Paleo, Parenting and Passion blog, along with nifty smart phone pictures.  It's important to see how Paleo/Primal folk deal with SAD in society.  At home, it's easy, you cook, you keep the crap minimal (or even better, completely gone), and no one tries to tempt you ("it's only a little gravy, it won't hurt you..."), and you aren't tempted by all the goodies.  But, when you are in a setting where you don't have control of the food, you run into problems with service staff, the food itself (pre-made, processed, seed/veggie oils, margarine, hidden gluten, grains, especially corn, in everything), and again, standing out like a sore thumb to all those keeping your company.

This is where a few set rules come into play:

Order last:  asking questions and giving explanations takes some time, people want to order!

Thank the wait staff profusely:  You are slowing them down too, but you want them to be on your side.  Be as kind and gracious as possible.

A meal is no time to "preach" to your dining companions:  This is a hard one for the Paleo/Primal crowd and the Vegetarian/Vegan crowd.  We are all under the impression that we know more than anyone else about food and nutrition (and we do, at least us Paleo folks...LOL).  Answer any questions directly, but frame it only about yourself.  "All that meat and fat, aren't you afraid of cholesterol?"  "No, my number's are great, but thank you for asking."  Then, you need to be a good conversation dancer here, and change the subject, focusing on the questioner.  "How is your Christmas shopping going?" 

In a large crowd, eye's will be on you:  Suddenly you will find that you are the Paleo ambassador!  Since I have plenty to show for eating clean (130 lbs gone!), those with a bit of thickness around their middle, and the skinny crowd that can eat anything they want, will be watching how and what you eat.  Just roll with it.  It is a bit annoying, and frankly, rude on the other people's part, but it is inevitable.  Everyone wants the secret (there is none) or the magic cure (that doesn't exist either), to weight loss.  They themselves might need to lose weight, or maybe a friend or loved one.  Suddenly, you have all the answers (you don't).  Again, answer questions directly, and maybe even offer a book title (The Paleo Solution by Robb Wolf, The Primal Blueprint by Mark Sisson), that they can get on Amazon or any book retailer.

Enjoy yourself:  Soon enough the bru ha ha will die down, and the conversations will turn to other things.  Anyone who is especially interested will approach you later to ask more questions.  I have learned that although society at large thinks that a gathering is about food, I like to think it's a gathering to reconnect with friends, they are what are important, not the food.

Most of these folks I see only once or twice a year.  Some I may not know, others I have known for 10 + years!  Yeah, we don't hang out together, but it always gives license for great conversation, catching up on our lives!

This should be interesting!  I just found out that the pregnant wife had a little girl yesterday!  Congratulations to Rachel and Brian on their new little blessing!

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

I Love It When A Plan Comes Together!

Yep, good news, woke up this morning 2.6 lbs lighter.  Confirms that I had too much water retention.  I will continue to stay the course, and see if I can nose into the 80's, at least get back to 195 (1.4 lbs to go).

I promised measurements, well, I did take my measurements, and since Nov. 16th 'til now, I haven't gained anything, although fat has been moving around, I haven't gotten any bigger, which confirms for me that I am not getting any fatter.

Yesterdays foodage:

A.M.  coffee

Lunch  steak and cucumbers (dipped in mustard) and a tangerine.

Dinner  Paleo burger with onions and mustard, and green beans.

I did have a couple of squares of dark chocolate, 4 to be exact (a serving is 12 squares).  It really helped when I began the "kitchen wander".  You know, when you want to eat something, but aren't hungry, so you just wander around the kitchen, looking for something to munch on, it usually ends in eat too much.  I am really working on stopping the "grazing", which is great for cows, not so much for me.


21-15-9  deep knee bends

21-15-9  counter push ups

2 sets of sit ups (one minute crunch/one minute reverse crunch)

30 minute walk with the kids looking at our neighborhood Christmas lights.

I had journalled that I was hoping for a 2 lb loss, which I got, so now I am hoping for another pound and some change tomorrow.  Maybe even another 2 lbs, which would be great!  After that, I will be expecting half pound losses every other day or so, which is fine.  Which, in the scheme of things, is pretty quick, quicker than SAD weight loss, but, of course, more healthy using whole foods and actually eating veggies, rather than just paying lip service (hey Powers That Be, corn is not a vegetable, it's a grain!) to eating "whole" foods (a hundred calorie pack is NOT a whole wheat, heart healthy snack!)

The pendulum is swinging low carb right now in society, it has been there before.  It will swing right back to the whole grain, low fat, high sugar, SAD as it has before.  More and more people will wake up fat and unhealthy, and continue to rely on the AMA and Big Pharma to cure their ills with pills. 

Hopefully, more people will jump on the low carb bandwagon (or even better, Paleo!), and ditch grains for life.  Unfortunately, peer pressure has an effect on everyone!  It sucks sometimes to be on the outside looking in.  There is talk about a Popeye's Chicken opening up here in town (replacing our KFC), and I can't eat there.  Nor can I eat at Taco Bell (love's the Burrito Supreme!).  Sometimes lonely, but in the long run, I can't complain.  Nothing tastes better than thin feels!  I didn't used to believe that ('cause I was fat, and sad, and pathetic), now I know!  I love shopping for clothes, and am finding some cute stuff that's TOO BIG! 

Onward and downward!

Monday, December 10, 2012

Whoa, Big Gain

Just yesterday, I was working out a "diet" to do to actively lose these last 15 to 20 lbs, imagine my surprise when the scale showed that I weighed 200 lbs!  Again, my fat % is only up by .3, leading me to believe that this is more water weight than gained fat.

Irregardless, I am not going to sit on my hands any longer.  I will be doing a modified hCG P2 protocol, with an increase of meat and vegetables (except squashes).  It will be a low carb/low fat regime. 

I was fairly naughty last night, craving protein I had bacon and eggs at around 7:30 pm.  I should never eat much past 6 pm, but I did, including salt on my eggs, which, I believe is not a true weight gain, but I will find out tomorrow, when I weigh in.  Yep, back to daily weigh ins.  I have to keep track to see if this will pan out correctly.

I still have a month before I can start Crossfit, and I don't want to walk in at 200 lbs (and beyond).

Game plan:

6 oz meat and unlimited veggies (2 meals/day)

Increase my water intake to 64 oz (minimum)

Continue my walking and exercising (deep knee bends, push ups, etc)

No eating after 6 pm.

Morning weigh in.

I will be taking measurements and compare to my last.  Considering my 14/16s still fit, I don't think I have gotten any bigger, OK, why be coy, FATTER.  I don't want to lose everything that I have gained (being thinner, stronger, feeling better about myself).  I still need to lose more weight anyway.  I want to be in the 60's, 70's, or even the 80's. 

My new goal is 165, so I have 45 lbs to go.  I am hoping that I won't have to another round of hCG, and just using common sense (which hasn't worked so well for me so far, arg!), smartly start losing weight again. 

I will be super happy about the first 15 lbs lost, everything after that is gravy.  I believe that I am the type of person who needs a strong regime to stay the course.  I have been sticking to Paleo, and haven't wavered from it, but I have spent far too much time on the far sides of Paleo, including eating late, eating dates, Paleo crunch and having far too much salt.  If it wasn't for Paleo, I would have brought on 20 or 30 lbs easily, but instead, I have only gone up 5 to 9 lbs (my lowest was 191, my stable weight was 195), and that's LOTS easier to lose.

Time to become a fat burner, and stay away from the sugar.  My beloved dark chocolate will be set aside for the time being.  Meat and veggies for me!  I am actually excited to see what I can accomplish on my own.  hCG is great, and a miracle for me, but I can't rely on hCG or any else to keep me from gaining weight.

I have watched too many folks get on hCG and lose bunches of weight, then slowly (sometimes not so slowly) regain weight, and they are left scratching their heads, unable to think of what to do.  I am of the mind that when something works, go back and try again.  hCG does work for many, but not alone.  The diet just makes sense.  So, it's back to the drawing board, or back to basics, as it were.

Sitting around a bemoaning my fate certainly isn't going to help me.  I have to be proactive, rather than reactive.  Since I have been planning to actually "diet" by cutting fats and sweets, I think I am on the right track!

I will be reporting my measurements and tomorrow's weigh in, to see if I am on the right track.

Monday, December 3, 2012

Had a gain but...

...I have an explanation.

This morning, I was up 1.6 lbs!  Scary!  What wasn't up was my "fat" reading on my scale.  Considering that I have been getting stronger, and a visit with my "girly friend", and that my pants still fit fine, I am going to chalk this gain to muscle mass and water retention.

If you have the means to get a scale with fat measurement, I whole heartedly endorse this purchase!  Even if it's not exact by any means, it does differentiate between fat and water (little electric current running through your feet, no, it won't electrocute you).

My plan is to eat clean, which means a P2 diet in P3 portions.  I have to go shopping today, so I will be picking up food for me.  I just realized that when I shop for groceries, that I have to keep a separate list for me, and one for my family.  They have really dived head first into SAD, although the kids and the dinner meals are still Paleo/Primal. 

A piece of bummer news, I am noticing more and more that my 3 yo (the Peanut) is eating like me.  For him, life is about bread and sugar.  Although he is not fat and still is solid on the growth chart, I don't want him to live like I did.  We are going to skate the holidays, and then in the New Year, get down to brass tacks.  I have been feeding the Littles different than what I eat, that is going to change.  What I have for lunch, they will have for lunch.  The difference will be breakfast, since I don't eat b-fast normally.  Lot's of protein and healthy fats, which is usually what they have.  Unfortunately, The Colonel will give them toast, and make them sandwiches on weekends, which makes my weekdays a bit harder.  Even I will get lazy and let them have bread (so, I am at fault too).  I spoke to The Colonel, and he has agreed with my assessment, so I will be scouring the cookbooks again, and finding good healthy Paleo meals for myself and the smalls.  Well, they will be Primal (they eat cheese, and don't have to be so strict, they are growing after all!).

Getting out and exercising is uber important too.  Today, I am going to make an appointment for next week to join my CrossFit box, and hopefully, learning about CrossFit, I can modify for the kids.  Me being stronger can only help them.

Well, that's about all that going on!

Monday, November 26, 2012

Minimal damage

Today is my weekly weigh in and (drum roll please) I am up 1 lb!  Not too shabby.  I am still 7.8 lbs below my LDW, so I am holding well.

I am hoping that clean eating and my twice weekly IF will see me to my lowest of 191, and maybe even into the 80s.  I have more than a month to the next holiday meal.  I am still working on the menu and keeping it Paleo!

I am getting comfy in my 14s, but I would like to see a 12 on the tag.  I have a couple of 14s that are running small, so once I can get into those, a 12 will be on the horizon.

I checked out the schedule for the Level 10 Crossfit box here in Oroville, and they have the Ramp Up class starting on January 7th.  I will be making an introductory appointment in a couple of weeks (like with drug dealers, the first one is always free), so that my fitness level can be assessed and see if I can do the exercises.  I don't know if they have a fitness level below "unmovable rock", but we'll see.  I am still scared, but am more scared of getting super obese again.  Now that I am into a Large and a 16, I don't want to head back to XL (or worse the 3X I was in).

I am getting stronger.  I like to do deep knee bends, and now I find that while in the squat, I can jump, and I mean JUMP up.  The only downer is that my saggy belly is pulling at the skin/muscles underneath.  I have a Dr. appt at the end of December, and am hoping we can work out a way to make the saggy skin a "medical condition", making it cheaper to be removed.  If not, I am not going to stress it.  I am thin enough now to wear girdles (you have to be thin to wear a girdle, you'd think they were for fat people, but no, they are for thin people with just a bit of loose fat.  Stupid and weird).  Anyway, I am going to have to get one (a girdle) that goes from torso to thighs.  I want to be able to give my all to exercising, and if parts and pieces are pulling and hurting, then I am not going to do well.   On the plus side, I will look sleeker, nice..

Christmas is on the horizon, and I know what I am getting, Fila Skele toes shoes. We picked them up at Big 5 for the Black Friday price of....$30!  Yes, $30!!  I know, I should be wearing Vibrams Five Fingers, like all the awesome Paleoistas, but, just to test drive toe shoes at the bargain price of $30 is just too hard to pass up.  If I find that I am liking/loving the toe shoes, I will move up to the Vibrams (plus, they have cuter styles).  All that's left to get are some toes socks to go with my toe shoes.  Big 5, again has them for $6.99 a pair (that's what I pay for a pack of 10 socks at Wally World!), but Amazon and Fila both want more than $10 a pair (SAY WHAT!!!!).  I am having a hard time wrapping my head around how expensive good health is!!! 

2013 here I come!  Hopefully 5 lbs lighter and ready to fight!

Sunday, November 25, 2012

The Holidays are here, and I am not going to GAIN!!!

The holidays can be tough for those of us who are trying to lose weight.  Lots of sweets, breads, and high carb veggies.  By making our meals Paleo, they are indulgent, but not wildly out of control.  Over at my other blog Primal and Paleo, Parenting and Passion, I posted our Paleo/Primal menu that I served Thanksgiving.

My best thought on the posting was "Sometimes you've got to bend, but you don't have to break."  That can be used with any situation.  Just because Auntie Betty brought her 5 ton brick angel food cake, doesn't mean you have to eat it.  If Auntie Betty is a grown up, she will understand that you are trying to eat more healthy and/or trying to lose weight, and not be offended.  If she does get offended, then she needs to grow up!  If you are of the mindset that her feelings will be hurt beyond repair, have a bite (that's one BITE not one PIECE).  Pick your battles wisely.  The war will fight on another day.

Now that Thanksgiving is past (for the Americans), most everyone has another couple of holidays to go, Christmas/Hanukkah and, of course, New Years, and we must make it through those with minimal damage.  Stick to your guns, again, bend, don't break.  If you are hosting, then it's tons easier since you control the menu, if you are a guest, be proactive and either A) bring a few side dishes you can eat and share:  B)  speak to the host/ess and explain that you are dieting, and need just plain ol' veggies.  The bonus in all of this is that meat is meat, and you can have a palm sized portion (try to get the inner portion that doesn't have a lot of salt and oil on it), whether you are having more turkey, roast duck, ham, or some sort of beef, all can be enjoyed (yes even the duck and ham) with limited damage, if you keep your portions reasonable.

Never fear Uncle Ted's hairy eyeball on you when he sees you pass on the gravy and pie.  Just smile, and give him a wink.  He'll be so confused that when he starts complaining to Auntie Betty, he'll just sound goofy!

New Years brings it's own problems.  Personally, if I imbibe, I stick to one or two Margaritas, but, we still have Littles, so we don't go out.  Again, bend, but don't break.  Just about everyone puts out a veggie platter, eat those celery sticks with abandon!  Sip your drink (soda water is always good!), and take your place in the center of the crowd, all of whom will admire (and be jealous) of your amazing weight loss! 

Holidays are a time to see those loved ones you haven't seen in a while.  To catch up, to love and laugh.  Food has become the center piece, but you can change that.  Make people the center of enjoyment! 

Happy holidays!

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Moving Forward

As time moves on, I have been thinking about moving forward.  With 130 lbs gone, I am feeling confident and happy with the results. 

I am hoping now to lose the rest of the weight with healthy Paleo eating.  I have confidence in knowing my own boundries.  Making choices of when to eat and what to eat has become habit.  There are plenty of times that I think "oh, that doughnut on TV looks delicious!", but that's as far as it goes.  Is it delicious?  Absolutely!  Soft, gooey, sweet, but not for me. 

I like feeling secure enough in myself.  If I am at a place that I have no choices, I just default to fasting and grabbing an Iced Tea.  Where?  Taco Bell has nothing I can eat!  Incredible, but true.  Chinese food is another.  Wonderful stuff, but nothing that I can eat, bummer.  I do love Walnut Prawns (mmmmm mayonaisse), but not for me.  I have discussed this with the family, because our tradition is to have Chinese on Christmas Eve.  This year Christmas Eve is on a Monday, as usual "closed" day for Chinese restaurants, so the fam may be out of luck this year.  I will see if a popular local restaurant will be open, but I doubt it.

I am also very calm and secure in my food choices for the holidays.  Thanksgiving and Christmas are very Paleo friendly!  With just a few adjustments, I can even serve stuffing and pie.  The Colonel has asked for a Paleo ized  apple pie.  Again, other than the amount of needed sugar, and changing up the crust, apple pie is fairly Paleo (OK, not really, but I am not a fan of pie anyway!)  So I will be researching apple pie, or just default to a coco/almond flour pie crust.

This road had been long, but so fruitful!  I am thankful to God the Father.  I am thankful to my husband.  I am thankful that I have finally matured enough to walk this path!

Everyday, I  go on the hCG Forum and read stories and questions from those who are trying hCG for the first time.  Some just want to lose 20 ish pounds, some just 10 or so, but it's the men and women who want to move out of being morbidly obese that I am truly interested in.  Being 200, 300, 400 lbs and more.  I am always hopeful for them, and try to be as supportive as possible, with a bit of tough love.  It is so hard to buck the system, the same system that says they must lose weight, but will not give them the correct tools to do so.

What really makes me sad is the young people, who just want to be like their friends.  Being able to suck down pizza and hamburgers with fries, and not be fat.  I try to encourage Paleo/Primal eating, or even just take bread out of their diet.  It isn't fair, but then again, neither is life in general.

I see people my age (45) who are embarrassed to eat out in front of others, because of the restrictive nature of the hCG protocol or P/P eating protocol.  They don't want to explain.  They don't want to listen to someone who has NEVER been fat (and I mean FAT) who says that hCG is dangerous, and they have a "friend" who lost 10 lbs just ate 3 meals a day, with two fruit snacks.  And if their "friend" could do it, so could you...  What a crock!

It takes time for the obese person to figure out their issues with food.  Every person has their own triggers.  Every person reacts differently.  Not every fat person sits around eating candy bars.  Some load up on "healthy" foods like whole wheat bread and tortillas.  They eat salad 6 times a day, with fat free dressing.  They limit portions.  They follow the USDA guidelines.  They workout 5 times a week for an hour each time.  They stay fat.  They get fatter.  They are at a loss as to what they are doing wrong.  I was "they" not too long ago.  I spoke to the doctors, who all told me that following the guidelines the USDA put forth are the way to go.  hCG won't work.  Paleo eating is dangerous, and you need to eat whole grains.  Did you know that Lucky Charms are "whole grains"?  So are Cocoa Puffs.  So are frosted Mini Wheats.  So are Trix.  So are Apple Jacks, Cheerios, Cap't Crunch.  With your "whole grain" breakfast, you should have a slice of whole wheat toast with "heart smart" margarine, a glass of orange juice, and non fat milk on your cereal.  If you are deep in the arms of the USDA, that all seems perfectly reasonable.  Once you learn and educate yourself, you realize that's just a recipe for having high cholesterol and becoming (or adding to) obese.  Yes, the true "heart attack on a plate". 

It is hard to change.  Sometimes it's baby steps.  Sometimes it's radical.  All the time it's being able to think for yourself.  As a recovering fatty, I have tried it all, and invented other ways of losing weight.  Here's what I know:  Following the "advice" of nutritional "experts" can lead to health problems, obesity, and eventually death.  This is all experts whether it be conventional wisdom, vegetarians/vegan or even Paleo/Primal.  You have to tailor a way of eating that works for you.  You have to understand how the body uses food for energy.  In other words, you have to learn to eat to live.  Our society lives to eat, drink and be merry, and to follow up the Klingon axiom, for tomorrow we all (will, not may) die.

For those of us who have been down Obesity Road, we are just making ourselves suffer a long and painful death, and are committing suicide by fork.  Once we learn there are reasons to live besides making ourselves feel better with food, we can truly live a life that only has food to keep us alive, and can truly celebrate life!

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Normal is Normal

Over these last 9 months I have learned so much.  I have learned about food, weight loss, even myself.  Who know that I could have such stick-to-it-tiveness (I don't think that's a is now!)?  Even now, everything I eat, planning my families meals, the things I do, have all become normal.  Now, the very thought of getting food from a box seems abnormal!

If we stop to eat on the road, I know that I have to go into whatever restaurant we're at, why?  Because I have to have my food a certain way.  I expect this to take a couple of minutes, and let everyone else order first.  I always start by apologizing, and thanking the server for their time, that way, they will try a bit harder to give me what I am PAYING for.  But, this is normal.

Yesterday, I was feeling a bit blue, and didn't feel like doing anything.  What is normal now for me "not doing anything"?  Going out for a neighborhood walk!  Out I went.  Alone, just me and my flashlight (and cell phone, of course).  I added an extra block or two, I walked at a quicker pace, and even contemplated jogging (not yet, but soon).  My new normal is that I can wear shorts and not have them ride up my thighs!  My new normal is my thighs not rubbing together.

There are still so many things that I have to learn being thinner.  Little weird things pop up everyday.  Big weird things pop up too.  Weird to me is how I look and see some things that aren't normal for a fat woman.  I am not that fat woman, yeah, I am overweight, but not FAT anymore.  I am still trying to see this, and probably never will, but I am adjusting to my new normal.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Sick, losing, and 14s

Managed to catch another cold!  Maybe I am making up for lost time.  This one is the sore throat and runny nose, blah!
On the plus side, I am still losing weight.  Down another 1.4 lbs!  Paleo usually picks up where hCG leaves off.  I have lost as much this week on Paleo, as I did on hCG.  Hopefully, it will hold out for a bit longer, I am just 7 lbs from my goal.
I went to the Thrift store yesterday, to get some more 16s (my current size) and pick up a couple of 14s (my intended size).  One of the 14s FIT!  It was probably mislabeled, but I'll take what I can get, LOL.  Only one of the 16s didn't fit, Gitano's run smaller, I guess. 
Time to start cycling thru the 18s.  I am keeping my Levi's for sure, as they too run small (and they are straight legged 505s, the choice of Rusty's everywhere!). 
I actually need to invest in some tops that aren't junkie tee-shirts.  I did get a dress, that was a large, and surprisingly it fit.  I am constantly shocked that I am getting smaller.  I shouldn't be shocked, common sense alone should be convincing enough.  I don't know, maybe I am expecting to jump on the scale and see 300 plus pounds again.
My eldest son treated me and his brothers to Carl's Jr. for lunch.  Carl's offers a low carb Six Dollar Burger, which is just a regular 1/4lb cheese burger on lettuce instead of a bun.  I asked for bacon on mine and the boys (The Puddin' had a chicken sandwich), but forgot to lose the cheese on mine.  It's funny, the cheese doesn't really melt, it just kinda glues itself to the meat.  I picked off as much as I could.  I don't think that I have any tolerance issues to dairy (not that that cheese was even threatened with milk), but I don't really care one way or another, so why have the extra useless calories and all that processing.

Sick or not, the Littles are making Thanksgiving napkin holders at Home Depot (check your local HD, they usually do FREE crafts on the first Saturday of every month!).  Last month, they made little wooden fire trucks that were just too cute!  If you have small kids (I think 10 is the cut off age), I would encourage you to check it out!

Off to shower, even sick, a Mommy's work is never done!

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

8 Pounds From Goal

I don't have any reasoning for a sudden 2.2 lb loss, but in all honesty, I am glad of it!  This puts me just 8 + lbs from goal.  I am a stone's throw away from a size 16, which means a bit farther and I will be in a 14.

It's funny.  So many who are using hCG are using it to get down those last 10 lbs, putting them at a 19 BMI.  Just because there is a number on a chart, that doesn't mean that that's where everyone should be.  An athlete will have little body fat, because they are athletes.  Regular folk don't need that, in fact, regular people shouldn't strive for that, because it isn't sustainable.  Sure, you can be a 30 something stay at home mom, spending 5 or 6 hours at the gym (guess she isn't stay at home, just stay at the gym), until the kids are due from school, but what happens if things change, and they always do, and she can't be at the gym?  Instant ballooning.  She might change her exercise, but she won't change her eating patterns.  Especially when boredom sets in. 

I am not putting down gyms, or people who use them.  My point is that if you can't find exercise that you can do everyday without a "membership", what happens when you don't have that membership anymore?  Sure, there are at home programs (PX-90, Insanity, etc), the video game consoles (Wii, Xbox), and of course, you can buy gym equipment (if you have the space).  All these things can keep you moving and toned, unless you get busy at home.  A TV show (or whatever is recorded on your DVR) puts you in front of the couch. 

Personally, I am following about 8 TV shows, and never get to watch them.  2 of them show on the same night at the same time!  What to do?!!  I miss them.  I go to bed instead.  I hope to catch them on a rainy afternoon on Netflix, or the OnDemand feature from my cable provider.  I watch too much TV!  But, all my exercising is either in the house or at the park.  At home I do push ups on the kitchen counter when I am cooking.  I do deep knee bends all around the house when I am cleaning up and doing laundry (every other day!).  I lift my children up in the air.  At the park, I play on the monkey bars, climb the equipment, slide on the slide, climb the "rock" wall, swing on the swings.

Add to that a nightly walk with my husband and kids.  A goodly amount of exercise.  With the cooler weather coming in, we spend more time outside, moving rocks and wooden beams to get the garden ready for next spring.

Exercise is such an icky word.  Just moving around is so much better.  I realize that once I start CrossFit, I am going to be a bit of a gym rat, but not excessively.  I will complete my WOD and still have all that moving around when I get home. 

I am so excited for 2013 the Year of Getting Strong!  When the Zompocolypse hits, I want to be ready.  Able to run carrying two kids, and a backpack of survival gear (yeah, I am weird like that!).  Even if the Zombies don't invade, just look at the things that do happen;  floods (Sandy is hitting the east coast right now), fires, earthquakes (I do live in CA, in a town that has had 6+ earthquakes), rioting (again, I live in CA), even tornadoes (weird but true, we get tornadoes!).  Just keeping prepared and my family safe cannot be done if I am too fat to move.  Fat isn't too much of a problem now, but being weak is. 

Good health is the end all be all of survival, well, that and being smart and prepared!  Hopefully, the Mayan Calendar is wrong, and the world won't end on 12/21 (I am really not too worried about that, no one ever mentions that the Mayan Calendar Guy just retired from making 5,000 years of calendars!).  For me, it's a Y2K thing, so I am not too concerned, OK, not concerned at all.  But, bad things do happen to good people. 

OK, off my "preparedness" soapbox. 

With only 8 lbs to go until goal, I am getting very excited!

Monday, October 29, 2012

Up Down Up Down..

Nope, not on a see-saw (do they even make those anymore?).  My weight of course.  I am pretty OK with it, the ups I pay for in cash (too much snacking, when I shouldn't be snacking), and the downs when I am behaving!

I am sticking to clean Paleo eating, with no snacks (sorta), and have lost a pound a day for the last two days.  I am at 196 now, -.4 from my "stable" weight.  I am still hoping to Paleo down to goal (11 lbs) by the end of the year.

If that goal is accomplished, I will not be doing anymore hCG.  Contrary to the FDA and the medical "professionals", hCG works.  And, yes, anyone can lose weight on 500 calories a day, but what else?  How could I stay at 500 cals for 70 days and not get weak?  How about 103 days?  The only problem I was having at 103 days of 500 cals, was boredom!  I was just tired of limited choices.  I wasn't weak.  I didn't lose any noticeable muscle mass (which I didn't have to start with...).  Instead, I got leaner, I got stronger. 

I will stand by hCG because it works.  Will it work for everyone?  No, of course not.  There is no diet that is "one size fits all".  But, just because something doesn't work for one person, doesn't mean that it won't work for another.  And, I am a medical oddity, I freely admit that.  It worked great for me!  My R1 losses were awesome.  Some start as big or even bigger, and don't show the same losses.  There are many reason's as to why.  Most don't stick to protocol (which does suck, but so does being fat), but some just don't respond as well to hCG.

There is also the mental part of hCG.  I will also admit that I am a bit scale obsessed.  I like weighing in, seeing a pound gone, when you are fat, who wouldn't.  After my 8 weeks of P3/P4 are up, I will only weigh in one day a week.  As long as I am holding steady, I am good.  I will still journal (good for the soul kinda thing), and if I gain, I will know why (I record my food).  A couple of months after that, I will put away the scale, and just let my clothes tell me what's what. 

I have the tools I need to succeed.  I know what I can and can't eat.  I am learning to exercise, not crazy 5 hour gym sessions, but to get in a good walk, use waiting time in the kitchen to do push ups (against the counter) or deep knee bends.  Play at the park WITH the kids, climbing, swinging, monkey bars.  These are just the beginning.

With my tools in place, then I can take advantage of the rewards.  Trips.  Plane flights (and only one seat).  Hiking.  Tennis.  Disc Golf.  Camping.  Parties.  Dinner with friends.  Do the last two seem shocking?  Why?  Because they usually involve food, right?  What's more important?  The company you keep or the food you jam down your throat?  Just like avoiding drinking too much, you do the same "carry a drink around" trick.  Put something (veggie) on your plate, and walk around with it.  Those who didn't know me while I was fat, won't even notice, and those who did know me fat, will be amazed at my perceived will power.  But there is no trick, no magic.  I am not stronger in will power, there is no "will power", I am smarter in my choices.

I am not perfect, by a long shot.  But, I do try to pay attention to what's important.  A doughnut is not important.  Being able to run IS important (especially when the Zombies invade, I don't have to out run them, just another slower person...).  What is the saying?  "Two seconds on the lips, forever on the hips...", very apropos!

So much life is out there!  I am so excited to be part of it!

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Plenty of Sweat..No Change

Nah, I wasn't working out, I tried one of those detox baths.  You get the water as hot as you can stand it, add 2 cups of Epsom's Salts and 2 cups of baking soda, and soak for at least 30 minutes, adding hot water to keep it all steamy.

Sweat I did, lose weight, I did not.  My body seem really happy where it is (at 196.4).  Our nightly strolls around the 'hood have been fun too.  I do need to get to something a bit more challenging.  I really like tennis, but my wonderful Colonel only has so much time and a million things to do.  My FIL swears he enjoys tennis, but won't go due to some back pain here, not feeling well there, and just all around being a lump on the couch.  He sucks!

Went grocery shopping, and got some good food back into the house.  I am having a big ole steak as we speak!  I miss having avocado, but the produce in that store (Don't worry, WinCo, I won't tell them who you are...) is a bit below par.  All the 'cados were smushy, and I mean just collapse in your hand, ewwww, gross.  But, on the other hand, they have a great selection of bulk herbs and spices, I picked up enough ginger to fill one of those $6 bottles for...wait for it....25 cents!  On top of that, they have the best meat prices. 

I am still bouncing around doing another round of hCG, but my Paleo didn't really kick in until 8 weeks out, when I just lost 4 lbs for no reason at all, so I am going to stay the course right now, and not make any decisions until the new year.  I have accomplished more in these last 9 months then some do in 2 years!!!  And that ain't "hey".

Now that I am stable, I have to keep my focus.  It's really great not being afraid of my food.  Since I don't eat bread or sweets, I can't really go overboard on anything.  I try to keep the pseudo Paleo foods to a minimum.  I really wanted a sweetie coffee yesterday (peppermint mocha from MickeyD's), but stuck to an iced tea (no, we didn't get any food, just drinks, they are all a $1), we did have In and Out Burger, protein style, of course.

Off to make the Colonel lunch.  Tootles!

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Up a Bit, But Holding Steady

I am at 196.4, which is up a bit, but below 200!  Yea me!!!

I have held this weight for 3 days now (a big jump from the 194), and if it continues to hold, I will roll with it.  I expect to start losing in another couple of weeks, as the reshaping part of the hCG comes to an end.  With Paleo eating, I will start to lose again, but I don't have a lot of worries about it.

I am still on the fence about doing another hCG round.  I don't mind working for what I want and need, but sometimes I get "loser's remorse".  I have lost 129 lbs in 8 months, how many people can say that? 

I have been walking every night, and getting a bit faster, and being able to go a bit longer, even tackling some hills with ease.  I would rather be hiking and checking out nature, but I will take my city routes until I can get to some better hiking trails.  Walking should be walking, but it does matter, physically speaking, to encounter uneven surfaces and walking around things, having to climb, scoot, and just plain ole avoid hazards on the path (kinda like life, no?).

What I am hoping is that The Colonel will see the dedication I am putting to my physical well being and OK the CrossFit membership.  It will require a little something from everyone in the family.  I might be doing the workout, but the rest of the family has to help out at home, and right now, I have a hard time letting them do that.  I worry about the kids, not their safety, but their ability to destroy my house and run all the growed ups at home ragged.

Well, all in all, I have about 2 weeks to go to get through P3/P4, then it's decision time.  I will either get back on hCG (doubtful) or do a low-cal Paleo plan.  Sticking to 2 to 3 meals a day, with no snacking, and upping my exercise routine will encourage more weight to drop off.  I would really like to ring in the new year at my 185 goal and strong and fit.

This has been been a great road to travel down.  I have learned so much about my inner strength.  What I can pull from deep inside me.  Who knew?  Certainly not me.

I am still having a problem seeing what is real.  I still look at myself and see a hugely fat woman.  My wonderful husband tells me over and over the things he sees, a complete 180 degrees from what I see.  Last night he commented on how thin my back looks (although fat, my back wasn't the worst of my fat), I just hope that I can get some more of the front to disappear.  I can live with the saggy skin, but all the fat has to go.

Anyway, that's what's going on in my universe. 

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Things are going swimmingly!

Looks like I just might stabilize at 194, which is totally awesome.  I feel really encouraged right now.  I am in "one"derland, I have a grasp on my food, and Paleo is awesome!

I have been having eggs in the morning, along with some sort of meat, usually bacon right now, and even adding some veggies.

I actually had dinner with the fam for the past couple of nights.  I am keeping my portions small, except for veggies (go big or go home!), even having a bite or 2 of squash.

I am in a solid size 16 (yippee), and looking forward to a 14 (where the good clothes start!).

It feels good to feel good.  I have been walking nightly, last night I even went by myself (gasp!).  All the men-folk are like "you are going by yourself?"  Umm, yeah, after all, I am a trained security professional, and have a big key chain and plenty of keys, plus a Mag Lite, add to that a "don't mess with me" attitude, and I am A-OK!

More later!

Monday, October 15, 2012

Good morning!  After a bit of a stomach bug, I am back, and a few pounds lighter.  I have finally managed to hit 195.4 (to be exact).  I don't know if I'll stay there, but the nice thing is after making an offering to the Porcelain Gods and a day of fasting, I am starting with a clean slate.

This morning I made some scrambled eggs, bacon, tomatoes and avocado.  Most of it is still sitting on the plate.  I don't want to shove everything down in one bite.  Just taking my time, and working through what I want.  I was actually hungrier last night than I am this morning.  Weird.

Everyone in the house has had this little bug.  Since everyone eats different, at least I know it's not food poisoning.  I think that it's just a one bathroom thing, is that TMI???  Probably.  Sorry.

The night I came down with that nasty little bug, The Colonel, the Pookers and I went for a long walk (I guesstimate about 2 miles).  It took us 45 minutes to complete the walk and we were all bushed by the time we got back home.  It was lovely though.  I have said before, I have always thought walking just to walk is dumb, but it isn't.  It feels good, even though my stomach was churning, the walking made me feel better, stronger.  When I would feel fatigue set in, I would just give myself a push, and get moving a bit faster, tripping over the Pookers and his bicycle!

I took all of yesterday off.  Just laid down and snoozed or watched Revenge on Netflix (I love my smart phone!).  All in all, it was a good recovery day, and I only get the one, today being Monday is my busiest day of the week.

My meal plan is simple today.  I am going to have a few more bites of breakfast, a light salad with tuna (maybe salmon), and a simple dinner (probably chicken).  Small bites, nothing too heavy because I don't want to gain any weight, and I don't want to tax my tummy.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Just an Update

Well, it looked like I was going to be stable at 198.2, I was there for 2 consecutive days, but this morning I was up a pound.  Bummer.  I am still in "one"derland, but flirting with the 200's, too close for comfort.

There isn't a whole lot of adjusting.  There are a couple of reasons I gained:  1) TMI ALERT- I need to "go", and 2)  I nibbled some sausage and pepperoni off the family's pizza, and it was late!  There is a new stress in the house, my MIL is lashing out at me (she's schizophrenic), and I am on her radar as an enemy.  So, it's not going to get any better.  Hopefully my FIL will take charge and deal with her, but he hasn't in the 5 months they've lived with us, and I don't expect him to do anything now.  That's OK, I will be the "bad guy" and have her 5150'd.  With two small children in the house, I don't want a scene, but I don't know just how far off the deep end she will go.  I have no experience with this, and I will let the professionals handle it.

Until the drama unfolded, we were having a great day.  It's Fire Prevention Week, and they had a safety fair in Chico.  Lots of police, firemen, park rangers, and even the Life Flight crew from Enloe hospital.  We got to see the helicopter land and take off, very exciting and cool!

My kids might just be in the local paper, which will be a hoot!

I did have a nice talk with a young man who was a student (at Chico State, I assume), working on being a PE teacher, I am sure there is a more PC term, but he and I talked kettle bells and Paleo.  His Vibrams were the conversation starter!

All in all, it was a great day, very kid oriented.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Another Mile Stone Reached!

198.6, yep, that was my weight this morning.  I took a picture, but this computer won't work right (it has to be the 'puter, and not me, right?).  I seriously need to upgrade (this 'puter has a floppy disc drive!).

Anyway, I lost another 1.6 lbs!  The biggest part of me (pun intended) wanted to lose, but another part just wants to be stable.  There is always worry about not stabilizing.  Weight lost during P3 is subject to an easy regain.  I am going to do everything I can to stop that from happening. 

This puts me in an interesting place.  The door is more open than it's ever been.  I am still waiting for more reshaping.  That translates to losing more belly fat.  It has been my big belly that's been holding me up in dropping sizes.

I am hoping that I will be able to fit into a 16 soon.  I am happy with the 18's, but that's not where I want to land.

I noticed that cute clothes start (or end, depending on your POV) at size 14.  My optimal goal would be a size 12.  But, I will take what I can get.  I am going to carry around extra skin for the rest of my life, a constant reminder of how far I let my self go.  It's my cross to bear.  It's the price I will pay for bad decisions, and I still have plenty of work ahead of me, but I am only 13 more lbs from goal.  Everything beyond 185 is gravy.

Now, I make better decisions

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Close to Stabilizing, or Just a Nibble Thing...

This morning I weighed in at 199.6 and was thrilled, so I thought I would grab a picture of the scale.  It had cycled through, so I stepped on again and it read 200.2.  I tried 3 more times and 200.2 stayed steady, so I will take the .2 lb loss.  Maybe I am getting close to stabilizing.  Yesterday I did nibble a bit, I had a few pieces of beef jerky, and tried one of my zucchini fritters. Maybe these extras stopped me from getting into 'one'derland, or I am just finally becoming stable.

The joke would be on me if I stabilize at 200!  I can't complain too much, in the past 8 months I shed 125 lbs! 

I am planning to start Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred on Monday.  I have used it in the past at 300 + lbs with good results (stronger core), so I am hoping that it won't be as difficult, especially those jumping jacks!  Getting 300 lbs off Terra Firma is not easy!  And, with smaller, less fatty boobs, I won't be giving myself black eyes every time I jump!

Once I start Jillian, I will stick to my eating plan, and any gains I will attribute to muscle.  And yes, one pound of muscle weighs the same as one pound of fat, the difference is in the mass.  One square inch of muscle weighs more than one square inch of fat, that's the difference.  The Shred really packs on the muscle quickly.  I just want to get my core in shape, a strong core is important to getting the rest of me strong.  My focal points are going to be my belly and arms.  Strong legs are a natural side effect of moving, plus, they are the largest muscles and build up quickly (hence the pain in your legs when you return to exercising).

Got to get ready to take the kids to Home,ah, Depot, they are going to build a fire engine.  Don't forget, next week is Fire Safety Week!

Thursday, October 4, 2012

It's Working (tentively)

Down another 1.6 lbs this morning, which puts me at 1.8 lbs below LDW. 

I feel much better now.  I am still hoping to see 199, although right now my goal isn't to be dropping weight, but instead to stabilize. 

I am going to have to change up my diet, but not until next week, and once I stabilize (which I will soon, hopefully).

Everyone in the house is making me crazy!  The Peanut has a sore throat, and is acting like it's the end of world.  The old people are "needing" to go to the Dr.'s (I ran out my pills 3 weeks ago and I must have them NOW).  The Colonel hurt his back (which always sucks) and he is at the "I hate my job" phase. 

I really wanted to quit smoking, but my waking stress is incredibly high.  I just won't stop now.  I say "won't" because I am not really even trying.

Ah, but this too shall pass.  I will drag everyone around to where they need to go.  Take the old people to their Dr.'s, take the Peanut to his Dr., and get thru this with out killing anyone or breaking anything. 

The Colonel asked about Thanksgiving, saying "I guess we are having a Paleo Thanksgiving", to which I replied, "Thanksgiving is pretty Paleo anyway, minus stuffing, rolls and mashed potatoes".  After thinking about it for a minute, he realized that I was right.  Most "holiday" food is fairly Paleo, and with some adjustments, I can Paleo-ize most of the non Paleo fare.

It's amazing how fast this year is going by!  122 lbs ago it was February!  I have much more hope for 2013 being my year of getting strong!  For years I would fool myself into thinking that this year or that year I would lose the weight and get to do more things, only to find that the year would be half over and I would still be super fat.  Then I would apply myself for about 2 weeks, see minimal progress, and fall back into the fat oblivion.

Now it's different.  Now I am at a place where I can launch myself into new experiences.  I still see a fat woman, and of course I am still fat, but losing 100 + lbs certainly makes things easier.  Now I don't sweat the 20 ish pounds that I still want to go.  Now, I know that if I keep my diet reasonable, don't engage in any eating that is counter productive, I will succeed in reaching my goal.  Real food, whole food, looking at labels (which most fat people do anyway), and keeping a running tally in my head of acceptable/not acceptable ingredients, is a way of life for me.  Unfortunately, it is still a "food obsession", but I have to eat. 

It is impossible to even imagine life that's not based around food.  I have a friend (a skinny friend) that will forget to eat.  How can anyone forget?  I don't mean once in a great while, but on a daily basis.  Too weird!

I have to work for that.  I don't forget, I will choose.  Right now, I choose to not eat dinner, mainly because I am not hungry, but, let me tell you, I could eat.  There isn't a time that I can't not eat.  Knowing that, and understanding that, helps keep me in line.  I am hoping that someday I will just know when to and when not to eat, but I believe this will be my life long struggle.  I am an addict.  I am addicted to food.  I am addicted to eating.  I am a carbohydrate junkie.  But, just because I "want" it, doesn't mean I should have it. 

So far, I am winning, I can never let food have the upper hand.  It's a chore, but the end is worth the work.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

The Roller Coaster of Stabilizing

Good news, woke up to a 1.2 lb loss!  Yea!  Although a loss is great, I really need to be stable.  I am hoping that I stabilize a bit lower, but I can live with where I am just for a while. 

I am going to stick to the same plan I used yesterday.  Breakfast of roast beef (heated in CO) and 1/2 an avocado.  Lunch will be a big ass salad (BAS) of, you guessed it, roast beef (heated in CO and diced), 1/2 an avocado, cucumbers, tomatoes, on lettuce, with mustard as dressing.  I upped my water, making sure I got in more than 64 oz.

I didn't have dinner, mainly 'cause I was filled up from the BAS and wasn't hungry, plus I won't eat after 3 pm.

We'll see how this goes, hopefully I will stabilize and then when I can see where I will land with Paleo.  Hopefully, I will get below 200, then I will only have 15 lbs to go to get to 185, which I think is an obtainable goal.  Not "fat" not "skinny" just healthy!

I will see what tomorrow holds!

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Can't figure it out!

After a bit of a loss yesterday, I registered a gain today!  Now I am sitting 1 lb over LDW.  In the scheme of the universe, that's not a big deal, with my CDO (that's OCD in alphabetical order), it's bothering me.  Mainly because I am comparing this time to last time, and R2 always seems to be a car wreck in comparison to R1.

Part of me is considering a Round 3 with hCG, just to get these last 20 lbs off.  But, if I can't stabilize here at 205, how am I supposed to be stable at 185?

Well, I have a list of problems food, and other things (like not enough water, meal times, etc).  Once I stabilize, I will be able to test them all out.  So, here's how I stand

I can eat most P2 foods (fruit shouldn't be eaten during P3, so that's a non issue).

I can add fats (CO, EVOO, avocados).

I have to keep portions small (kind of a duh statement).

Eat more veggies (good advice at any time).

No starchy foods for the time being (really shouldn't be introduced until P4).

Keep my water level up (64 + ounces daily).

Keep moving, walking and exercising.

Eat breakfast and a late lunch, no food after 5 pm (moved from 7 pm, so dinner with the fam is out!).

And, of course, I will add some rules and subtract some rules, as I get stabilized.

Depending on what happens tomorrow, I may have to do one more steak day.  The last one was a bust, maybe due to the J. Lee Roy's (the world's best dipping sauce made right here in Oroville!), so it will just be a broiled (possibly grilled) steak and a tomato (what a thrill!  NOT!!!!!). 

If I hold steady tomorrow, or even experience a loss (preferred), then I will repeat everything I am doing today, then see what Thursday has in store. 

This just might be my body being my body.  I am not eating grains or legumes, very few, if any processed foods (I guess J. Lee Roy's counts as a processed food, I am sure the caveman didn't have "dipping sauce").
So at some point I should level out. 

Like I posted before, I have to keep perspective on the whole thing (no matter how pissy I am getting!).  I am doing great, and my head is in the game, now to get my bod to cooperate!.

Monday, October 1, 2012

It's all in the perspective.

Steak day produced zero results.  On the plus side, I didn't gain either.  I am really bummed out about being .8 lbs over my LDW.  I was hoping to be at (or even below) 200 by now.  It's only been a week, but what a roller coaster.  Down by 2lbs, now up 2.8 lbs.  I am still within ballpark of my LDW, but I don't want to be.  I want to be smaller, lighter, losing!!!

I have taken to walking nightly with the Littles.  We trekked down to Boss Burger, no, we didn't stop to eat.  But it was about 1/2 mile round trip, both down hill and back up.  None of us got winded, none of us collapsed.  This time it was both the Pookers and the Peanut who accompanied me.  The Pookers is really good at keeping a running conversation (and I thought I talked too much!  So, he must get that from me!).

I almost stopped doing the LRx, but decided that 7 days in isn't a fair shake for a 6 week process, so I will see it thru to the bitter (or maybe better) end.

I really want to get into the CrossFit, but I am as weak as a kitten, in fact, I think kittens are stronger!  With the walking and floor exercises I might just get strong enough to start Jillian's 30 Day Shred, but I hate exercising in front of people, and I never get any privacy.  'Course, even if I could get a room and TV to myself, I would be pestered every 2 minutes by Littles, Parental Units, and household personnel that just can't live without me!

*It's Monday*

Two day posting, awesome.  Well, today is a bit better.  I am not so pissy!  And I am down .6 lbs, I know that's not much, but I will take it.

I have to shop today.  First is to get me something to survive on, next is to get the carb crunchers what they want. 

As far as the kids go, the battle will start again.  Yesterday, at dinner, The Colonel thought that them having hamburger buns was a great idea (it wasn't), so we are back to square one with the bread.  I wish that the adults of the house  would take a bit of interest in their health.  I also wish they would respect my choices for me and my children.

All my battles are uphill.  Fighting all the humans in my house.  Fighting my own body.  Fighting my cigarette cravings (although I am doing real well this morning, so far!). 

Well, I am giving out my Xena yell, and pulling my sword.  Bring it on!

Saturday, September 29, 2012

The Good, the Bad, the Gain

Woke up to a 1.4 lb gain this morning, ugh!  I will be doing a steak day, 'cause I have got to get this under control. 

I will also be cutting eggs out for the time being.  Although they were A-OK last round, they might be a problem this round.

The good is me running.  Yes, fat ole me, running, not far, not fast, but running nevertheless.  The Pooker's and I went to the store, he was riding his bike, and when he got going faster than I was walking, I jogged, then, because I was going faster, he went faster, so the jog turned into a run.  We even had a race, and I went all out!  It felt so GOOD.  To run, and not smack myself in the face with bouncing fat. To stop, and have the rest of me stop too (rather than jiggle for 20 minutes AFTER I stop).

Moving is really becoming a joy, rather than a chore.  I find myself doing deep knee bends, just because.  I will just do a plank for no reason.  It feels good to move, to feel muscles work, to feel the strain of pushing myself.

Last night, just because, I went for an evening walk, which normally I abhor.  Walking for the sake of walking just seems pointless.  But, maybe, I was just looking at it wrong.  Walking just to enjoy the movement is different. 

Hey, I have a flashlight, I have a cellphone, I have legs that want to move, why not!?

Is it the endorphins?  Is it just enjoying my new (and improved) body?  Is it becoming an underlying obsession?  Couldn't say.  What I do know is that I am not going back to being fat.  I can't.  Life is just starting for me again, and I don't want to give it back. 

On Monday, I am quitting smoking.  I am putting my foot down on the cigarettes!  I will crush them, out forever!  No more grains, no more cigarettes.  Boy, even the word "cigarettes" is ugly!  Probably why I call them "smogies", "smokes", "poofers", anything but cigarettes. 

It won't be easy, but it's necessary.  Nothing is too hard if it's worth doing!

Friday, September 28, 2012

Not Stabilizing

The earmark of a great round of hCG is stabilization.  Stabilizing at or below your "last dose weight" (LDW), it always the goal.  We usually have 2 lbs (+/-) to play with. 

I am still below LDW, but my weight is creeping up.  I was at 202.4, and I thought I would stabilize a bit at 203, but this morning I woke up to a .8 increase. 

There may be a few factors, eating too late last night.  I need to have about 4 hours between eating and going to bed, but dinner didn't get finished until after 6 pm, and I go to bed between 8 and 9.  I also had squash, which is really high in carbohydrates.

So, squash is out (total bummer), for now. Once I get to 185, I might intro it back on a "once in a blue moon" basis.  I may make exception to zucchini, which isn't as sweet as some of it's cousins (butternut, acorn, etc) and spaghetti squash, which also isn't as high in sugars.

My dark chocolate is also going on the shelf (or in the freezer), until I get a grip on this.  I must stabilize.  I am not supposed to "try" to lose weight, but on the same turn, I have come too far to just turn tail and quit.  I will work on portion control. 

My lunch yesterday was very high in protein, and not enough veg, so that needs to be addressed too. 

My plan is to either skip lunch, or just have a BAS (big ass salad), and make sure my last meal is between 3 and 5, so I have time for my food to digest a bit before bed.

I will also be going over my food log, and looking for culprits.  I am hoping it isn't eggs, I find that I really enjoy having eggs for breakfast (and lunch).

I will not give up.  I will not give in. 

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Being Naughty and It's Consequences

Yes, even I, The Terminator, The Machine, The Everyready Bunny, can fall.  I didn't fall far, but I found myself snacking, not on carrots, or celery, but on dark chocolate covered almonds (store bought at that!).  For some reason, I find myself doing the things I shouldn't, such as snacking. 

Is it the end of the world?  Not really.  I played, I paid in a 6 tenths of a pound gain.  I am still under my LDW (by 1.4 lbs), which gives me a bit of elbow room, but I would rather have either stabilization or a loss (OK, I would rather take the loss!).

I seriously have to refocus.  I am tauting the greatness of Paleo, and stuffing my face (maybe "stuffing" is a bit harsh) with sweet treats.  And, everyone knows, me and sugar don't mix!

This morning I had a breakfast scramble with leftovers from dinner last night, and 2 eggs.  Quite tasty, but it will take some getting used to.  I almost defaulted to bacon and eggs, but decided to hold off, 'cause to make my protein high enough, I would have to eat 4 to 5 eggs (@7 g. protein/egg) and 8 strips of bacon (I use ends and pieces from Trader Joe's, so a bit less, 'cause they are thicker usually).

So, the LRx is going well, at least me getting up and eating.  It's the afternoons that send me over the edge, afternoons have always been my "danger" time.  It's the time I am most bored and just want to eat.  I think that that's it.  In the past, when I was bored, or upset, I would acknowledge that I want to eat, but have no reason to, and chug down some water.

OK, game plan in place.  Now, this afternoon, I have to put it in action.  Crossing fingers and toes on this one.  I would like to see 199 by next week or so.  Between keeping the "Beast" under control and doing some exercises, I should get there!  It's only 3.1 pounds!!!!

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Day 2 of the LRx

Down a pound!  Yea!  I increased my water intake.  I am learning to eat a smaller dinner (about 1/2 of the other adults).  Last night we had Creamy Chicken Casserole from PaleOMG, and it was quite good!  Tonight is Roast Beast from the Paleo Parents book Eat Like A Dinosaur.  I served it last week, and it was a hit!  Now I need to come up with something to go with it, I am thinking coleslaw and tomato-cucumber salad.

I didn't do very well yesterday as far as snacking goes.  Time to lock down the rules.  I jinx'd myself thinking I wasn't going to eat lunch. 

The afternoon's are always hard for me.  I need to find a task that keeps me busy.  Something to ponder.

The LRx is going well, I get up and start my breakfast and coffee.  I don't have any issue eating in the A.M., in fact, I would rather start my day that way.  This morning I introduced eggs (hope it isn't too fast, probably is, but we'll see).  I am really enjoying unseasoned food.  Just steak and eggs, easy peasy!

Exercising went well.  My arms are longer and my body doesn't dangle.  I can hold a plank for about 20 seconds, do 5 sit ups, 5 push ups, and 20 squats.  I am going to try some sprinting tonight, not too far, but see how many I can do, even for a short distance (I am still smoking, so I might get winded before I get tired!).  So I will sprint out for a short distance, rest for about 10 seconds, and sprint back.  I will try to do 4 sprints, but even once out and once back at full speed is a good start!  I am actually looking forward to running.  I used to hate the idea (especially in PE), but now it something my body actually craves!  Excellent!

Monday, September 24, 2012

Can't have everything

Good gravy, Marie!  Woke up to a 1.4 lb gain!  Yuck!  Too much fat?  Not enough water?  Too much cabbage?  Too much salt?  Who knows.

I did start my LRx today.  Had a steak and some of the leftover braised cabbage, so I am sure I got in all my protein. 

Not sure about lunch, I will see how I feel, right now (at quarter to 11), I am not hungry (but as always, I could eat, and eat and eat...not going to happen), so I don't think that I will be having lunch today.

The kids are driving me crazy, so we had better get to school work!

Sunday, September 23, 2012


You'all know I don't put much stock into the BMI scale.  But, today I am crowing from the rooftops, my BMI moved from "obese" to "overweight", with a 1.2 lb loss!  This really makes me feel good.   I am 2.1 lbs from "one"derland (199.9).

Today is also the day that I can go back to real food, limited only by Paleo.  I am going to make braised cabbage today (thanks to Michelle at Nom Nom Paleo, an awesome site for all food porn), which I made for the fam last week, and even the Littles of the Corn ate it with gusto!  I am also looking forward to a wilted spinach dish (also make with bacon).  I have been missing out on some great cooked veggies during my hCG run.  Although I still love cucumbers and tomatoes, now I get to mix them together!  I get to add olive oil! 

No worries, I will not be getting crazy with the food.  Just being able to sit and enjoy dinner with the family (such as they are) is a reward unto itself.  I must be mindful of portions.  I can eat all the lettuce in the world, as long as I don't go ape-goo goo with the oil and vinegar.

What a Happy Day!  I get food today, breakfast tomorrow, and finally get to start exercising!  I am so happy! 

Is that sick or what?

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Transition time. Again.

There are plus' and minus' to transitioning.  The plus (at least for me) is another drop in weight (-1.2 lbs), the minus is the waiting to start eating FOOD again.

hCG is great.  It works well.  The food?  Well, the food is a bore.  But, there is an upside:  the wanting of all the things that I have been missing.  Not cakes or cookies, but veggies like cauliflower, zucchini, broccoli!  Missing butter, coconut oil, olive oil.  As far as meat goes, I don't really miss anything there except ribs (I love's me RIBS!!!).  Since most meat is up for grabs, I don't miss out on meat, except bacon and ham.  I have been missing eggs, but I won't be introducing them for a few days.

Tomorrow, I will be spending the day making condiments, mayo, ketchup, bbq sauce, Paleo ranch.  Having these on hand, I'll be able to phase out the store bought stuff.  The carb crunchers might not agree.  They are used to the sugar, HFCS, soy oil and MSG that comes in those things.  Do they taste good?  Yes.  Companies wouldn't spend million (billions?) on product research to give folks stuff that tastes crappy (of course there is still no explaination as to why they still make Miracle Whip, ewww), and has a side effect of bad health and an addiction to the fake ingredients.

Speaking of the carb crunchers, they probably won't be joining the Littles and I in the Whole 30.  Pity.  My autistic son would totally benefit.  My MIL could cure her diabetes.  My FIL might find the energy that he lost 30 years ago.  The Colonel would sleep better and have less stress.  Win Win Win Win, but instead, soda, candy, bread, and crap will win, and they will lose, lose, lose, lose.

I have promised to not hound them, and I won't.  I have to rearrange the whole kitchen, to put the carb crunchers crap/food on their own shelves, away from the Littles, and figure out a threat that I can carry out when the Littles beg for doughnuts and cookies, Slurpees and soda, from all the other adults, who will give in. 

Is murder an option?  No.  Bummer.
Give them a time out?  No.
Spank them (well, maybe the Colonel, LOL)?  No.
Throw them out?  No.
Beat them up?  Hmmmm, very primal....

Friday, September 21, 2012

Last Dose at Day 101

After 101 days, I have a last dose weight (LDW) of 204.4.  I am not breaking any records, or did I meet my final goals, but I am happy with the results. 

Yesterday, I told you about my measurements, and I lost 77 inches overall in the last 7 months, and will continue to lose more as the P3 reshaping starts up.

A lot of hCG'ers are concerned about gaining back the weight they've lost, and rightly so.  If you reintroduce the same foods that made you fat in the first place, you will gain the weight back.  Learning how the body "sees" food is crucial.  Sugars are insidious, you have a sweet, you want more.  Bread-y stuff is the same way, you have a sub sandwich, and you find you are hungry 2 hours later! 

Fats and proteins keep you feeling full.  Veggies give you the carbs your body needs.  Fruits can provide that bit of sweet that your sweet tooth craves (but not too much).  All of these things working together provide your body with the nutrients that your body needs to get and stay healthy.

Now that I am at a size where I can actually move, I am looking forward to exercising.  I will be doing floor/body weight exercises to strengthen my core before I join my local CrossFit box.  I am gaining confidence daily.

I still have issues seeing what I really look like.  In the mirror, I can see that I am thinner.  But looking down at myself, I look just like I looked at 325.  I know that I am more normal in size (with plenty more to go!), as my clothes are fitting different, I was wearing some yoga pants yesterday, and noticed that they were baggy on me!  Baggy yoga pants?  On me?  Who'da thunk it!?

So, having just gotten into 18's, I am already headed into 16's!  With exercise and Paleo eating, I have no doubt that I will be losing more weight, without even trying! 

It's weird, remembering all the different diet plans out there that I tried.  Diet plans that require so much work and effort.  Diet plans that push being a cardio junkie.  Diet plans that rely on the "calories in/calories out" method.  With hCG, I didn't have to "do" anything.  The food was laid out, easy peasy.  The rule was "no exercise" except walking (a healthy activity at any stage of life).  Paleo is just as easy.  The exercise part is to be short, intense, and fun.  None of which would have been fun if I was following CW and losing at 2 lbs a week (after approximately 28 weeks I would have lost a whole 56 pounds, which is good, but not guaranteed).  I would be sitting at 275-ish, hating life, craving sweets (because of the high carb-ness of a CW diet), and eating all the wrong (read processed) foods. 

No diet is "one size fits all".  Most are "your mileage may vary".  hCG worked real well for me, but wouldn't for others.  I embrace the Paleo eating plan, whereas others would think that they "can't", or worse, "won't" give up bread/grains, legumes, sugar, soda, dairy.  If you think you can't, you can't.  If you want to be stubborn, be stubborn, that's on you.  You can't blame a diet/eating plan that you can't or won't follow for your failures. 

My future is looking brighter everyday.  I may have not met my goals, but I am a damn-sight better off now than I was 7 months ago!

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Day 100 and my stats...

OK, I promised I would be back with my stats so here goes:

Starting (R2) weight:  256 Gained 4.4 pounds loading  Official P2 weight:  260.4

Not official end weight, but after 100 days:  204.4

Total loss after 100 days:  56 lbs


June 10th:          Sept 19th (day 100):        Difference:

Neck          15                         12                                   -3

Shoulders    46                          38                                  -8

Biceps         13                          11.5                              -1.5

Bust             46                         41                                  -5

Chest           41                         35.5                               -5.5                   

Waist           48                         40                                   -8
Hips             53                         46                                   -7

Thighs           24                          20.5                              -3.5

Calves          17                           14.5                              -2.5

A total of 43" off during Round 2, add to that the 44.25" from Round 1 and I have lost a total of........

77.25"!!!!!!!  Freakin' sweet!

I said earlier that I have today and probably tomorrow before I am done with my hCG, so I will record my Last Dose Weight on Friday, which will also be the first 500 cal/no hCG day (got to do that for 72 hours). 

It looks like Monday I will be starting P3/Paleo/LRx and I am looking forward to my Big Ass Breakfast (BAB). 

I want zucchini in butter.  I want avocados.  I want eggs and bacon.  I want to eat the wonderful (but unappreciated) meals that I have been fixing for the carbcrunchers! 

I am lucky, I don't crave the bread-y stuff anymore.  Although, some of the pseudo Paleo goodies look good, I can do without.  No sense in tempting the "evil within". 

As I have said before, I will still be posting.  Losing weight was just the beginning of my journey.  I am still striving for health, which also means getting stronger. 

Hippocrates said:  "Let your food be your medicine", and I am taking that to heart.  Filling my body with garbage is a total deal breaker.  I (or anyone else) can't be healthy if I am stuffing my face with GMO laden fake foods.  Grains are literally for the birds (they have the stomachs to break them down).  I am going to continue with the healthiest foods that I can find.  Even the Colonel is climbing on board about grass fed/finished beef, pastured pork and chicken, even though they are so expensive.  Since we are both planning to quit smoking that will save us up to $300/month! 

At tax time, we are planning an add on to the house for the in-laws, and to free up space (plus adding another bathroom. One bathroom and 7 people is pretty hard).  But, we will be saving for 1/2 a cow, we have to put our order in by February for the early summer slaughter.  So, that is going to be expensive, but on the other hand, can we really put a price on our health? 

So far, that's what's going on, of course life happens when you make a lot of it is on a "we'll see" basis!

Day 100

Yes, it has been 100 days on hCG.  I only have today and tomorrow left, and then 3 days at 500 calories (no hCG), and then I can transition to P3/LRx/W30 (boy, that seems like a lot of stuff!).

It's been a great ride, in the last 7+ months I lost 120 lbs!  And, although I didn't reach my last goals ("one"derland, a BMI of "overweight", being 185, or size 16's), I did accomplish a lot.  I am in reach of all of those goals, and will achieve them one by one.

I have said before that 2012 was my year of health.  2013 will be my year of strength. 

The Colonel and I are going to quit smoking on October first.  I figure if I put in the dedication to quit smoking like I did to hCG, then how can I lose? 

The things I want to do don't work well with smoking.  Time to put that major bad habit away.  I still have a long road ahead of me, not smoking, starting an exercise regime, getting out more, just getting my shit together.

I will post some stats later. 

Sunday, September 16, 2012

GTA on YouTube

I have no idea as to why my blog (and apparently a lot of other people's blogs) was referred in the "Gay Tony GTA" video.

Sorry for the weird connection. 

Still Losing, Which Is A Good Thing!

I am a loser!  Yes, a loser.  This week alone I have lost 7.2 lbs.  Why?  I am not sure, but I do think it's a mix of higher protein, a bit of fat (coconut oil) and more exercise.

I am really trying to get into the whole "hiking" thing.  I am not a fan of "walking".  Walking around the neighborhood, looking at people's homes, front lawns (or lack of a front lawn in the case of my house), avoiding speeding cars up and down our street.  It's just boring.  Same old dogs barking (and sometimes, chasing you), same old boring neighborhood.  It's just all so pointless. 

Instead, I would rather hit the hiking trails.  I live in Butte County which is full of outdoorsy activities, trails, and natural goodies!  Yesterday's plan was to hike a trail from the Lake Oroville State Recreation Park's Visitor's Center, and hike the one mile trail to Lake Oroville.  It was just going to be me and the Little's, then my MIL wanted to go.  I just didn't have the heart to say no, 'cause that woman doesn't go anywhere, and my FIL won't leave the comfort of the couch (or, for that matter, his meds) to go do anything.  So, she is willing, but she is also 66 years old, and has been stuck inside for the last 30 years of my FIL's boo boo back pains. 

So, I packed a lunch for the kids in their own backpacks (every man for himself) and my food and Grandma's lunch in my back pack, plus extra water (fun fact:  a gallon of water weighs 8 lbs) for her.  We got kind of caught up in the Visitor's Center museum, then the kids wanted to eat lunch (which I wanted to save for the arrival at Oroville Lake), so the best we could do was a 2/10 ths of a mile roam around the Visitor's Center. 

It's surrounded by Chaparral which is OK (they are little oak trees, if you have ever been up here, there are oak trees coming out of our ying-yang), not really high excitement.  But, after getting everyone to quiet down, I managed to scope out a red headed woodpecker.  Since the Littles are only 3 and 5, I am trying to train them how to be good observationists, good stewards, and to be aware of their surroundings.

It's not easy with Grandma, mainly because she has been in a virtual prison for the last 30 years, does know a lot (even though some of her info is a bit dated), but insists on being the lecturer rather than impart the info in a natural, teaching, manner (ie:  letting the kids observe and make their own conclusions), which is not easy.  I have been learning to not lecture, and to let the world teach with my guidance.

The Peanut (he's 3) was the first to wear out (and Grandma wasn't that far behind), so we left.  I really wanted more out of that trip.  It was a time for me and the boys.  I am finally to the point where I can do things.  I am working on being out and about, not hiding my big fat body away.  Not making the kids live vicariously through the TV.  Truthfully, I am not comfortable around my MIL.  Never mind, that's for Dr. Phil.

I am trying to get fit (and the kids too) for a hike to Feather Falls in the spring.  Feather Falls is a waterfall very close by, and there is a hiking trail (4.5 miles one way) to it.  I would just love to see it with my own eyes!  It would be a day hike for us (because the Littles are little, and the Colonel has tweeky knees), and we would have to go a moderate pace.  We can only travel as fast as the Peanut (he's got the shortest legs).  And everyone would have to hump in their own water and food and safety gear.

Life is really getting great! 

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Just an Update

I haven't gotten the pics off my hubby's computer yet, so Mt. Lassen will have to wait.

Since coming home I have held steady, even showing another loss, even though I wasn't perfectly on protocol (POP).  I have been sneaking Paleo crunch, but I think the coconut oil (CO) is helping, it's weird but true that sometimes the introduction of healthy fats after a long hCG helps jump start weight loss again (not too much and not too often, otherwise it will backfire and cause a gain).

I was reading a blog the other day at Kris' site, and he was confessing being a food addict.  Which I can totally relate to.  I remember eating boxes of mac and cheese, a whole box in one sitting!  Then, heat up some tortillas (with lots of margarine, yuck!).  Then, I needed a sweet, which would be a quart (back when ice cream came in quarts) of Rocky Road.  All that food, plus meals, plus a few more snacks. Grazing takes on a whole new meaning for me!  And, in all honesty, I still graze, but now I default to protein only, but even that isn't right.  Right now, at the end of a 100 day hCG round, it's kinda expected, but still, it's bringing back old and very bad habits.

I just finished reading It Starts With Food, and am really excited to start my Whole 30, or for me, the Whole Life eating plan.  You can read Melissa and Dallas' website at Whole 9.  There is so much information!  I am trying to get the family on board.  In reality, nobody else wants to cook, so they are stuck at dinner, no matter how they feel about doing the Whole 30. 

I am going to do the W30 and drag the kids with me, the adults have to choose for themselves.  It's going to cause problems, Grandma will give in to the whining (without much of a fight).  Yesterday, they all went to the store, and I specifically said to NOT get the kids a Icee.  So, Grandma gets back and just steps up and blatantly tells me that she got them Icees.  I was pissed.  Now, I have formulated a response, especially once we go Paleo full time, that response will be "get out".  It's pretty ballsy to go completely against my wishes.  She might be crazy, but now she's showing me she's stupid too. 

Their family history is full of diabetics, Alzheimer's, dementia, schizophrenia, heart disease, cancer, and all sorts of maladies.  I have made plenty of mistakes with the kid's diet, but I am trying to correct those mistakes and get them the best possible start!  I think this is the way of doing it.  Giving them fresh, healthy, whole foods, not a bunch of processed crap and sugar. 

In fact, Grandma and Papa would really benefit from a Paleo diet, but since soda is more important then their health, I don't think they would go for it. 

Everyone is going to get really pissed when I have them clean out the kitchen of all the crap.  If they want crap, they can buy it themselves.  I won't be buying anything that is off protocol, even my beloved Colonel is out in the cold, although he said he's on board, but that will only last so long, as he is deep in the heart of the sugar dragon.  44oz sodas daily, plus at least 2 tsp/cup of coffee, plus sodas at home (about a liter/day).  I gave up soda years ago, and all sugary drinks since February of this year.

With just over a week left on hCG, I can do the transition by October first.  That way I can get a few things set up.  I have to make Paleo mayo, Pketchup, PBBQ.