Friday, August 31, 2012

Our 9th Anniversary

Down 1.2 lbs.  Not much, but I'll take what I can get!  After the 4 day stall, 'girly' time, and just not sticking to protocol, I am ready to lose some more weight.

Tonight we are going to the batting cages (my choice), then dinner and a movie.  I told the Colonel that we could go just about anywhere for dinner, since I will be fasting today and at dinner have a 6oz top sirloin and diced tomatoes. 

With only 20-ish days left, I am concerned about these 11.5 lbs, that's how far I am from 199.9.  It is imperative that I get below 200!  I won't make my goal of 185, but I am really needing to transition to P3/Paleo. 

I will go until I am out of hCG (all told, about 100+ days).  Then I am done with "dieting".  I am looking forward to starting to workout Grok style, and hopefully by December start my 12 week session with CrossFit.

I will maintain my daily weigh ins for the first 2 + months (through the LRx and the Whole 30), just to keep track, then I will be letting the scale go to a once a week kinda thing.  I am not so much worried about not losing anymore, that isn't my concern, what I am worried about is gaining past 200.  Because of my obesity, I cannot become slack in maintenance of my weight. 

Little things, like watermelon, have to be identified and eliminated.  Yes, watermelon, I gained a pound on some watermelon, not even a pounds worth!

I will be ordering It Starts With Food this week to read up on all I will need, and get the adults in the family on board, and seeing what I am asking them to do.  It will be a up hill battle!

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Yet another apple day

I have been stalled out for 4 days.  I thought mainly it was my "girly" time, but nope, I am stalled.  So, today will be an apple day for me.  6 apples, no waiting.  Just to make things fun, all our apples are old, and dry and just bleh.  I think I will go get some fresher ones, just for the taste factor.

Today being day 80 means I only have about 20-ish days left.  I just want to get below 200.  With the LRx for 6 weeks and Paleo for life, I should be able to lose that last 25 lbs (to get to 175).

Tomorrow will be measurements, I am not expecting anything amazing, except maybe a pound or two down, inches, eh.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

It's been a week...

...since my last posting.  I am sorry.  There really hasn't been anything going on.  I am not in a "stall", but am not losing weight either, although my scale is showing a consistent drop in my fat %. 

My "girly" time started.  TMI ALERT:  Since starting this second round, my flow has been incredibly heavy and for a longer time.  It is evening out, as far as getting back to 28 days between, but oh my, I just can't "clean up" fast enough!

I am still 28 pounds from goal, and may not make it to 185, but I will take just about anything below 200!  I am finalizing my plans, but for sure, at least for the time being, I will be doing a Leptin Reset (LRx) for 6 weeks (which will work well with my hypothalamus reset) and keep me from snacking (my down fall).  And, go hard core Paleo (I will be doing the Whole 30-and hopefully get the adults into the spirit and give it a shot). 

I also told you that I wanted to cross fit.  I will start here at home with kettle bells and a pull up bar (have one on my Amazon wish list), maybe a pre Christmas gift for me!

I will be spending the rest of the year monitoring my health (I will see my "doctor" on Dec. 26th), and hopefully end the year 125 lbs lighter (maybe more) and 100% healthier.

I am really looking forward to starting 2013 fit and happy with me.  Plus, I will have actually carried through with my personal goal of making 2012 my year to get healthy!

Hopefully, the Mayan Calendar won't get in the way, but at least I will see the end of the world (NOT) healthy!

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Getting Closer... right behind you...

Boo!  Just kidding, a bit (a very little bit) of morning humor!

Woke up to a 1.2 lb loss this morning!  Yea!  I am just under 30 lbs to goal, with a whole bottle of hCG waiting in the fridge, and about a third bottle I am working on.  Today is a skip day, so I don't have to worry about taking my doses.

I did my measuring for day 70 (yesterday), and netted .5" lost, not much, I lost about 2.5 inches, but increased in other areas, that's the "reshaping" part of hCG.  It's weird, but it happens.

I am ready to transition.  With only 30 ish days left to go, I am ready for some real food.  Not that it's going to be much, eggs, butter, pork, coconut oil, avocado (which I will catch at the end of the season!), broccoli, zucchini (end of season too!), cauliflower, OH the HUMANITY!!!

I miss condiments, BBQ, Ketchup, and the like.  I will make my own (Paleo versions) when I get to the end, although I do want to try Caveman Bob's BBQ Sauce, I loves me a yummy BBQ!

I am hoping to get some dirt and compost for my garden.  We will be planting pumpkins, broccoli, cauliflower and some lettuces.  Our summer garden wasn't much this year, just some cherry tomatoes from last years crop.  But, they carried me through (I eat them like popcorn at meal time).

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Goal, Shame, and My Boney Butt

Always start off with something good, I made my 215 goal (215.4 to be exact)!  I am nearly 110 lbs down!  Very exciting!  My next goal is to be "just" overweight.  I am at a BMI of 31.8, once I get below a 30 BMI, I will no longer be Obese.  Everyone knows how much stock I put into those BMI numbers.  They are a crock, but it's a safe and close goal, so I will use it right now.  BMI is stupid.  My children register overweight on a BMI, even my super skinny, no butt, kid (who people harass me for, because he is "underweight").  You just can't win.  But, since the conventional wisdom (CW) is what it is, I will just put up with it, ignorance and all.

Now, to CW, and it's views on hCG.  Yesterday, I was posting on my favorite homeschooling site The Homeschool Lounge, on the "health" section.  The topic was "Who needs to lose 100+ lbs?"  I could have wrote that myself, and in fact, have started massive weight loss thread topics.  I jumped in with "I did lose 100 lbs."  But instead of Proclaiming my weight loss, I just kind of whispered hCG's involvement.  I didn't want to be responsible for anyone being led to hCG, how's that for stupid and, frankly weak, on my part.

Why is hCG bad?  I have lost 100 lbs on hCG!  Who can argue with me that it's bad?  If hCG doesn't work for someone, that isn't my fault.  It will be one of two things, it doesn't work for that person, or that person isn't working the protocol.  Neither of which is my problem.  Harsh, I know.  But, after nearly a year of watching folks cry about hCG not working for them (they were "almost always" on protocol, and only cheated a few times, and just couldn't give up Mountain Dew or whatever).  Or those who have had a lifetime of eating disorders, but hCG made them have to go to therapy, because they became obsessive over some scale numbers (and the fact that they were scarfing down everything in sight), but that was all hCG's fault.

I am going to find a way to be proud of me, and my accomplishments WITH hCG, and stop lurking in the shadows of shame, just because ignorant people don't know anything about hCG except what the media/FDA tells them (good thing the media and the FDA never lie...).  Or, their "friends" experience, or even their own experience -which I'll except more, as long as it's followed up with "didn't work for me".  No diet plan works for everyone (ask the Fenphen people who died, they'll tell you, Fenphen didn't work for them!).  Just because I had remarkable success doesn't mean everyone will.  This is just the beginning, I am losing this weight to jump start my health plan, I still have to maintain these losses.  So, I am just about halfway thru my journey to health, the battle is not won yet!

I now have a bony butt.  I mean, it hurts to sit too long.  I can't even enjoy a hour long TV show.  Now I know why skinny people can't sit still very long, it hurts!!!  I think I have also bruised a muscle in the back of my right thigh, again, I don't have a big fat layer to protect me from hard surfaces (like the toilet), and I can't just plunk down, but have to sit carefully.  Is this TMI?  Sorry, but as a fat woman becoming thin, this is stuff I never expected!

Expect the unexpected!

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

A Page From My Daily Journal

I am big on writing.  I keep a couple of blogs, I post on a couple of website forums, and I keep a daily personal journal.  With so many changes in my life, I like to keep track of the past, especially this year.   I thought I would share today's journal entry:

August 15th, 2012                                                                                         Day 65
217.6                             -.6                                           -42.6                           -107.6

A loss- I'll take it.  Not much, but I was naughty yesterday.  I nibbled on some pork and sausage.  I wish I had a better excuse, but I wanted them, and ate them.  At one point I shoved pork pieces and sausage pieces into my mouth-chewed and spit them out into the trash.  Either way-it showed me that I have to keep a tight rein on myself.

Even if I am not a clinical "binge" eater, I am an impulsive one.  Why does it seem like such a good idea- OK maybe "good idea" isn't the right phrase.

It's like- "I want it.  I want it NOW!"  Suddenly, you're grabbing and starting to stuff your face-and your brain (the higher functions) aren't kicking in with reasoning.

It's foolish to give in to the impulse.  This something all people have.  Skinny or fat, we will impulsively do something stupid-food, sex, alcohol, drugs, whatever.  It's like we have an underlying death wish or something.  

Is there a way to overcome it?  Sometimes instinct is instinct.  God gave us a "intuition" - to sense danger, the fight or flight instinct.  The grab and gobble is a perversion of that.  If you were starving, it would be one thing, but then you wouldn't be so picky. Seriously, I had broccoli, cauliflower, and carrots out too, but didn't grab them!

So what is the answer?  Don't beat yourself up.  Perfection in a human being is way overrated.  We will make mistakes.  We will give in to temptations.  Many, maybe most times, we will not make mistakes, and not give into temptation.

So I scarfed on some meat, big deal.  Here's what I didn't do- I didn't eat the chocolate chips, I didn't eat the ice cream in the fridge, I didn't quit, I didn't call myself names, I didn't have a breakdown, I didn't take it out on the kids.

I may have munched off protocol, but I didn't fail.

We live in such a horrid society.  A society that will quit at the slightest set back.  A society that tells us we must be "XYZ".  A society that is so caught up in "equality" that it won't let someone be an individual.  A society that want to place blame everywhere and on everyone.

I am taking a stand.  I ate the meat.  I will pay the price.  I will be responsible for myself.

How about you?

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Another day...

I didn't have any losses today (bummer), but I am noticing my fat percentage going down (bonus).  My scale showed 37.4% fat yesterday and 36.9% today.  The fat percentage on these scales aren't accurate, but will at least give you a ballpark figure to go by (similar to the BMI scale, which isn't accurate at all, but people swear by it!).

As fat is released from the fat cells, water is added in, so the cells don't deflate like a punctured water balloon.  Then the water drains from the fat cells, leaving them deflated.  The trick is leaving those abnormal sized fat cells empty.

What I do know is that I am still getting smaller.  I went shopping in my closet and tried on a pair of jeans that I have been lugging around for the last 8 years, hoping one day to fit into them, and I do!  They are a 40 in waist.  40 inch!  To some, that may still seem big (which it is), but when you were sporting a 52 inch waist, that is practically TINY!!!

I also went through my closet, and got rid of the clothes that are too big.  Turns out, there were plenty!  I am out of nice dress shirts, no dresses at all, and even clothes that I bought at a smaller size after R1 are having to go.  My real nice size 22 jeans ($2 bucks at a thrift store) are in the bag, and I really liked those.  My sweat pants too.  Sweats are a fat girls best friend, but no any more.  My Walmart 2X sweats are far too big to wear, and I am not saving "fat clothes" for "just in case".  That is the wrong kind of thinking.  If I want to get to a smaller size (12/14) I cannot be looking backwards, only forward.

Live in the now, plan for the future!

I have been talking to The Colonel about joining the CrossFit gym here in town, after I reach my goal.  Since being on hCG, I haven't done any exercising, other than my normal routine of house cleaning and chasing the kids around.  So, I think with taking at least one CrossFit session, I will start strengthening up and developing my muscles so that I can "move like Grok".

It's not too pricey, $150 for a 12 week session (3X/week), and that's with a personal trainer.  I asked that if I do this, I would have assurances that I would be able to do the classes, and not waste time, or miss a session.  I am committing to health, and exercise is part of it.  I need to be strong enough and fast enough to save my children in any situation!  I also asked if The Colonel wanted to join me, he said he would think about it.  The plus side, is that this gym has nutritional programs on Paleo eating (kind of a CrossFit thing).

It's still on the back burner, and I still want to get kettle bells, plus sprinting and lifting heavy things is actually free, so there is always that option! 

Monday, August 13, 2012

Drink your Water!

Good morning!  This morning I have found myself down 1.4 lbs!  Yea!  I was feeling a bit put out yesterday with no weight loss.  But, I realized as I had flushed the loo that I might not have any losses because I didn't drink enough water.

Dark yellow urine:  Not enough water.
Watered down lemonade color:  Good water intake.
Neon yellow:  excess multi vitamin.
Brown or red tinged:  Get to a doctor!

This is your best indicator.  Everyone (for the most part) looks to see their "producings", so make sure you are too!

Right now, I am down a total of 106.8 lbs and I am 33.2 lbs from goal!  Hopefully, more belly will go with each and every pound!

I am close to squeezing into a solid size 18 (that's down from a 28/30), and may end my hCG journey at a 14/16, which are numbers I haven't seen since Jr. High!

We have up and coming plans for the water park again, and camping the second week of September.  I am confident that I will be at the 200 lb range by Sept (maybe even in "one"derland!).  We'll just have to see how these weeks go.

It's funny, I am losing weight so fast, but it never seems fast enough.  It's like a NEED to get below 200, like NEEDING air.  I am also looking forward to transitioning to P(aleo)3.  The food is fine on P2, and I have no issue with it, but on the same turn, I am looking forward to breakfast again. 

I will be doing another LRx for 6 weeks, just to make sure that my body is taking to the reset of my hypothalamus and to keep my leptins in perfect formation.  Plus, how can you go wrong with a high protein breakfast, and a light dinner, with lunch as an option?

We here in America are so blessed, with food in an excess (no one in America should ever go hungry, they do, but there is no reason why).  The problem is our excesses are making us fat!  Even in my family, after eating a healthy and full meal, the carb-crunchers will hit the kitchen.  My adult son will break out a frozen pizza, my FIL will have a bag of chips and candy, and The Colonel will munch on a sandwich and chips.  All will have ice cream.  All will drink soda.  None will entertain that once dinner is over, eating is over for the day.

They all agree that I shouldn't eat after 7 pm, obviously I have a problem, I am fat, but since they aren't "fat" like me, they don't have a problem.  I have to get them to understand that as men, they build fat around their internal organs first, THEN it spills out to the beer bellies and man boobs. 

I am going to challenge the family to a Whole30 meal plan ( next year, when they can't use the "your fat, so you need it, not us" excuse.  By then, I should be at my "normal weight" and plenty stronger.  Turns out there is a CrossFit gym (even here in the sticks!) just 3 miles from me.  I am hoping that I can save the money to take the first 12 week program, just to start getting in shape, and start getting stronger.  It seems that the new mantra is "Strong is the new skinny".

Here's to getting "skinny".

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Made it to the Teens

Lost 1 lb, which put me at 219.6!  The TEENS!  Yes!  Now to work down another 10 lbs to get to the zeros.

I am only 35 lbs from goal!  It's so amazing.  6 months ago I was 300 lbs (plus!), now I sit 20 lbs from being under 200!

Friday, August 10, 2012

Day 60 on Round 2

Well, I end this round with a whisper, not a shout.  I am down .8 lbs, which is good (almost a pound), but my losses for this last deca week were dismal, mainly because of a 1.2 lb gain when I started to run out of hCG. 

I am hoping to see better losses in the next 10 days.  I will post measurements and (gasp) pictures a bit later.  If I lost a bunch of inches, then that would make up for not losing weight.  OK, not "make up" for, but at least I have lost something!

Took my measurements, I am down another 4.5", which makes 30" for Round 2!  For both rounds I have lost 74.5" total.  In perspective?  I am 69" tall (5'9"), I have lost more inches than I am tall!  This is freakin' awesome! 

Be back later when my husband (not Ansel Adams!) gets home.  My stupid "smart" phone doesn't have a delay timer on the camera!

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

It's Here!

My shipment finally arrived (with a Little Rascals DVD, weird).  I tested and took a dose. It will put my doses a bit close, but I really want to make sure I have my hCG in my system.  It wasn't as hot as the sun, but it was pretty toasty.

I feel much better now that my stuff is sitting in the fridge waiting for me.  Now I can get back on track.  I still have .4 lbs to get to new weight loss areas.

I did hit the thrift store for some new pants and shorts in 18's and 16's.  I am hoping by the end of this ride will be a solid 12/14 (smaller would be nice  too!).

My computer fried on a power surge, and I am on The Colonel's laptop (which I hate).  But, it's imperative that I stay in contact on the hCG forum for support and to support.  With this diet, it's best to talk to like minded individuals, since there is so much bad press about hCG.  Plus, I like posting here.  I can keep a running log of my happenings and such.

My Shipment?

So, I ordered my hCG on Wednesday, they sent it out on Friday, it's now Tuesday and due to come in today (by end of day, of course).  It didn't leave Louisville until yesterday afternoon!  I am sure there were other EARLIER flights out of Louisville to California!  I would complain, but it's a case of CYA.  I paid for express shipping (1 to 2 days).  The hCG company says 48 hours for processing (that would be until Friday, so they are right on schedule), Saturday and Sunday don't count as shipping days, so in the scheme of the world everything is right on time.  What a crock!

I have been noticing that UPS isn't as speedy as they used to be.  The brown is wearing down.  You know who is still good?  USPS.  Yes, the postal service.  A couple of winters ago, the mid part of the country was brought to a halt because of freezing temps and bad storms.  I has tons of curriculum ordered and was waiting for the shipments.  The only one who got thru was USPS.  I realize that they are failing, but they should keep up the good work, privatize, jack up their prices, and keep going.  It's not fair to make us default to companies that are resting on their laurels (hey, UPS, get off your butts, quit flirting with the girls, and MOVE IT).

Rant over.

My last dose of hCG paid off in a .8 lb drop, yea!  I still have .4 more lbs to go until I recover from my gain, but I am hoping to see the 'teens by the weekend.

This stop and start thing (with me running out of hCG) is actually paying off well in losses.  From a mental stand point it sucks (I just hate gaining!).

I have been scouring the Internet for all things Paleo.  I am gearing up for when I leave hCG and begin my full time Paleo life eating.  Over at Wellness Mama she has a great recipe for Chicken Cordon Bleu!  That is going to be my first Paleo dinner (about a week after hCG). 

I am thinking about investing in It Starts With Food by Doug and Melissa Hartwig.  They have a Whole30 plan, not so much for me, but for the family, to get them on board with the Paleo eating program. 

As you can see, I am looking beyond the hCG diet, and into the future.  If I go back to how I used to eat, I can expect to fatten up like a cow on grain!  Hence, I am planning, practicing, and putting the family under the thumb screws.

Off to start my day!

Sunday, August 5, 2012

A day at the Gauche Aquatic Park

Yesterday we went to a water park (my first time at one!).  My weight loss is opening a whole new world to me!  I got to slide down the tall water slide.  I found myself laughing all the way down.  I dove off the diving board.  I swam laps!  OK, only 2 laps, but I also hadn't eaten, and 500 cals only go so far.  But I did these wonderful things.

For once I wasn't the fattest person there!  Normally, I would have just hung out the whole time with the kids, and not participated.  I am so happy that I am starting to live.

I even passed the Der Weinerschnitzel test!  The Colonel bought 2 bags of chili dogs, and although they looked and smelled delicious, I knew that they would do more damage than I could tolerate. 

If I want chili dogs, I can make chili and have some uncured hot dogs after hCG, just no bun, so it's a case of not no, just not now.

On the downside, I am up 1.2 lbs.  I think that all the exercise activated my muscles, and since muscles are more dense, the weight gain is attributed to that.  I was very POP, so it wasn't the food.  But, jump starting some muscle is a good thing, and to be expected.  I think once I am in the 100's it won't seem so bad.

I also noted that my fat % didn't go up, just stayed the same, and that shows it wasn't a fat issue, so back to my original theory about the muscle.

This outing really gave me a boost.  And I look forward to all the new and exciting things I will be able to do.

My bathing suit was the bummer of the day, but in a good way.  My suit is far too big.  I put it on, and it kept riding up on my chest, so the 'girls' kept falling out at the bottom (of the bra part, silly).  There isn't enough of me to fill the suit, so it is too long for me to wear!

I did look for a new swim suit, but for what Walmart had left, I wasn't going to pay full price ($30!) for a suit that won't fit me next year!

I got confirmation that my hCG won't be in until Tuesday (end of day, of course), so for what I have left, I will take one hCG dose tonight (normally I would take it 3X a day), and hopefully have enough left for another dose on Monday night.  Either way, I will muddle thru until I get my goodies.

I have about 45 days left to go (a guesstimation).  I will be doing the LRx again, just to ensure that I am starting from the strongest point.  Since I will never really leave P3, I am not too worried about gaining anything.  I think most of my weight gain will be thru exercise, but I will be gaining muscle not fat.

I will be doing mainly kettle weights and caveman workouts.  I am excited about learning how to do burpees and although I may start slow, I will get them conquered.  First, I will just be trying to do one or two, but hopefully, I will get stronger and better, and be able to do 10 -12 in a row, with jumps (did I ever tell you how much I hate to jump?).  Then I will be doing sprints, climbing with the kids, and just all around having a good time!

I am so excited to be healthy!  Now if I can just quit smoking!