Sunday, July 15, 2012

Is it working?

So far, nothing.  I didn't lose anything today.  Of course, I didn't gain either.  I am very concerned that HCG is now a thing of the past for me.

Today, I will be aware of my hunger levels.  500 calories is way too low for living without HCG (because the HCG releases the abnormal fat for energy).  Without HCG's help, I will start burning structural fat and muscles, not good, not healthy.

On today's menu will be fish and celery, and maybe chili for dinner, but then again, I am thinking some chicken and tomatoes from my garden, holding off on the beef for right now, until that scale starts moving.

I have almost 5 lbs to lose before I am even close to where I left off. 

What I fear most is that the HCG isn't working, and I am going to have to Paleo my way down.  That will work, of course, but it will take at least a year to get there, as opposed to 2 months with HCG.

The sad thing is that my beloved Colonel and I were talking about what to do on our anniversary, and HE suggested flying out to Vegas!  He was comfortable with me being on an airplane (without having to buy 2 seats), but now that I am not losing, I still don't think I would fit on a airplane seat.  To have to go through what other fat people have gone through would be too damaging in my quest for health.

Imagine some anorexic (or even worse, some over weight) airline counter person saying that you are so fat that according to the airline you equal 2 people!  Now, I understand that the greedy airlines need to think about weight when taking off, but considering that they store cars and elephants in the cargo hold, I don't think my 241 lbs would make that much of a difference.

The Colonel doesn't want to go through the embarrassment of travelling with a fatty, and I certainly don't want to be that fatty whose being bullied.  Plus, we couldn't afford an extra seat anyway!

All I can do, is stick to protocol.  At 500 cals/day I am guaranteed to lose weight, irregardless of HCG, but I have to watch for unusual hunger pangs, emotional extremes, and being lethargic. 

I am not much into the "power of positive thinking".  I have always been a pessimist.  While things are going well, it's easy to be looking toward the future, but when things take a turn for the worse, it really makes a rosy outlook hard.

Tomorrow will show some improvement, it has to, or else I am f@#$ed!

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