Sunday, February 12, 2012

Still losing at a great pace.

I didn't get much sleep, and was afraid that it would effect my losses, but this morning I was down another 5 lbs!  That makes 14.8 lbs in 4 days (including loading days!).  Now for the caveat;  these losses will slow down.  This is like a jump start.  Within a few days my losses will slow, while my body catches up.  While the losses are slowing, my fat cells which are filling up with water, will be releasing the water and shifting around, reducing my size.
My hope is that I make it into the low, single digit 300's or even manage to get into the 200's (299 is a lot, but better than 325!).  I am really looking forward to losing inches too!  My plan is to do some closet shopping.  Right now I am wearing a 28 (52), I have some pants in a 26 (48), and some pants as low as a 40.  At the end of all this, I am thinking that anything below a 36 would be heavenly!  I can't even tell you what the "junior" size is.  Maybe a 12 or a 14?  These numbers really don't have any meaning for me, because the smallest I remember being was 36, and that was when I was about 14 yo. 
I was just getting ready to write about how lucky I was 'cause I am tall and carry my weight well, poppycock!  I have always been fat.  A fat teen who became a fat adult, and it was only down hill from there!
What is interesting is that everything I have learned, and am learning is culminating into my new life plan.  With the hcg, I can actually feel when I am really hungry, not just filling a hole.  It's kinda like an alcoholics "moment of clarity".  I am sure that  is far too dramatic, but I have a disease.  You don't get obese because of being lazy.  You don't get obese because you eat.  You get obese because of WHY you eat.  Most people, fat and thin, will agree that doughnuts taste good.  Even vegans will admit that bacon tastes good. 
Everyone gets hungry.  Some overweight people will starve themselves to lose a pound or two, what do they get?  Someone sees them eating a salad, and makes a comment that they would lose weight if they would only put down the fork.  Nice.  Well, OK, so that person just might put down the fork, and pick up a spoon and start shovelling in a quart of ice cream.  Happy now?
People will fall over themselves to congratulate someones sobriety.  Knowing that if the sober person has one drink, they could die.  People will congratulate someone for losing weight, too.  Then offer a Starbucks coffee with all the fixin's (at 500 cal per cup), and a lovely muffin (800 cal), and an offer of a celebration lunch (1200-1500).  All bad fats, all carbs, no food value, while the whole time the offerer and the offeree are both in a fog of "congratulations".
It's not fair.  Of course, this is lesson number 1 about life.  It's not fair.  It's not fair that I can't eat bready stuff.  It's not fair that my Mexican food days are over.  It's not fair that I will turn to the refrigerator for comfort and support.  Well boo hoo.  You know what I can do?  I can walk.  Which isn't fair to someone in a wheelchair.  I can hear.  Which is not fair to the deaf.  I can see.  Which is not fair to the blind.  My children are growing up in the best country in the world, they will never know hunger, cold, or hopelessness, which is not fair to children in Third World countries.  So, you see, life is not fair.  The bottom line.  If you know that life isn't fair, don't whine about your lot in life.  Instead, look to all that you have, all you can do, all that you can be.  If the worst of your life is to having avoid bread and ice cream, then count all the blessing you do have in your life!
Sermon over, go in peace!

No comments:

Post a Comment