Saturday, February 11, 2012

It's Awesome!

You just gotta love the whole hcg diet thing!  Since I started 3 DAYS AGO, I have lost 9.8 pounds, any side effects?  Just waking up with a dull headache both days. 
My legal council (the Voices inside my head) are reminding me that this is a temporary "whoosh", and won't keep up at this pace (bummer).  But even a .5 or 1 lb loss would be most welcome. 
During week 1, the losses are pretty big pound wise, during week 2 is when all this fat is going to start shifting around, and I will start seeing inches disappear.  Week 3 is a mixture of both pounds and inches (hence the name of Dr. Simeons' research).
I am not sure about how long I will be doing hcg for the first round.  Part of me wants to go a full 90 days, but my head is telling me to get off 50 lbs, go P3 for 3 weeks, and dive back in (maybe with 3 weeks of P4). 
Here's what I want:  I want to be healthy.  I don't want to be morbidly obese anymore.  I have 2 small children to raise.  I have a wonderful husband that I want to grow old with.  I want to do all the wonderful things that life has to offer.
I have to look at my fat as a cancer.  If I had cancer, I would do anything and everything to fight it, right?  Food is my cancer.  The problem is that you can cut out cancer, you can't cut out food.  A huge portion of using the hcg is not just to lose weight (bonus), but to change my relationship with food.   Food is NOT my friend.  Food is my enemy.  I can no longer live to eat, but must instead eat only to live. 
As I remain on the VLCD, my body is learning to get energy from fats, and not store away abnormally, but to use the excess for energy.  Once I have exhausted the abnormal fat, then my body will continue to use what I eat to be used for energy, as long as I stay away from the excesses.  Carbohydrates in grain/pseudo grain form just stores away in my already stretched abnormal fat cells, so grain/pseudo grain carbs are a thing of the past.  Along with refined sugars, which have no food value of any sort.  Even the energy that sugar supplies is short and too much of a spike, and totally not worth it.  There are plenty of ways to get an energy boost.  Fruit, nuts (not legumes), veggies and proteins. 
I have been really lucky, since I had cut out soda years ago, so that's a monkey that I don't carry.  Prior to starting hcg, I cut down/out most carbs in my diet.  In fact, the Colonel was shocked when we went to a restaurant and I ordered steak with a side of ribs, and had a double portion of veggies instead of a starch, and passed on the bread/croutons. 
My last loading meal was at Hometown Buffet, and I had a huge salad with tons of dressing, beets, eggs, bacon, and for my crunch I added sunflower seeds, no croutons.  Then I went to the main courses and had a plateful of really fatty pork ribs and one, count it, one roll, which I savored and said my goodbyes to.
Breads/sugars are just nails in my coffin.  Mortality is very real to me.  I have clogged arteries and hypertension.  Why?  Because I have been killing myself with a fork, a slow and steady suicide.  I will be 45 in 3 months, and I want to be out of the 300's and into the solid 200's (below 250 would be most excellent).  Before the year is out, I will be in the 100's.  150 is supposed to be "ideal" but I will take 175 with relish and hold it there. 
It's a whole life change.  All my heart and soul are in this.  I need this.  I don't want to have a heart attack.  I don't want to have a stroke.  I don't want to be fat.  This goes against everything I have ever done in my whole life.  A complete 180 degree turn about.  I must become a whole different person.  One who thinks differently, one who acts differently, one who reacts differently.  A total transformation.

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