Well, it looked like I was going to be stable at 198.2, I was there for 2 consecutive days, but this morning I was up a pound. Bummer. I am still in "one"derland, but flirting with the 200's, too close for comfort.
There isn't a whole lot of adjusting. There are a couple of reasons I gained: 1) TMI ALERT- I need to "go", and 2) I nibbled some sausage and pepperoni off the family's pizza, and it was late! There is a new stress in the house, my MIL is lashing out at me (she's schizophrenic), and I am on her radar as an enemy. So, it's not going to get any better. Hopefully my FIL will take charge and deal with her, but he hasn't in the 5 months they've lived with us, and I don't expect him to do anything now. That's OK, I will be the "bad guy" and have her 5150'd. With two small children in the house, I don't want a scene, but I don't know just how far off the deep end she will go. I have no experience with this, and I will let the professionals handle it.
Until the drama unfolded, we were having a great day. It's Fire Prevention Week, and they had a safety fair in Chico. Lots of police, firemen, park rangers, and even the Life Flight crew from Enloe hospital. We got to see the helicopter land and take off, very exciting and cool!
My kids might just be in the local paper, which will be a hoot!
I did have a nice talk with a young man who was a student (at Chico State, I assume), working on being a PE teacher, I am sure there is a more PC term, but he and I talked kettle bells and Paleo. His Vibrams were the conversation starter!
All in all, it was a great day, very kid oriented.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Another Mile Stone Reached!
198.6, yep, that was my weight this morning. I took a picture, but this computer won't work right (it has to be the 'puter, and not me, right?). I seriously need to upgrade (this 'puter has a floppy disc drive!).
Anyway, I lost another 1.6 lbs! The biggest part of me (pun intended) wanted to lose, but another part just wants to be stable. There is always worry about not stabilizing. Weight lost during P3 is subject to an easy regain. I am going to do everything I can to stop that from happening.
This puts me in an interesting place. The door is more open than it's ever been. I am still waiting for more reshaping. That translates to losing more belly fat. It has been my big belly that's been holding me up in dropping sizes.
I am hoping that I will be able to fit into a 16 soon. I am happy with the 18's, but that's not where I want to land.
I noticed that cute clothes start (or end, depending on your POV) at size 14. My optimal goal would be a size 12. But, I will take what I can get. I am going to carry around extra skin for the rest of my life, a constant reminder of how far I let my self go. It's my cross to bear. It's the price I will pay for bad decisions, and I still have plenty of work ahead of me, but I am only 13 more lbs from goal. Everything beyond 185 is gravy.
Now, I make better decisions
Anyway, I lost another 1.6 lbs! The biggest part of me (pun intended) wanted to lose, but another part just wants to be stable. There is always worry about not stabilizing. Weight lost during P3 is subject to an easy regain. I am going to do everything I can to stop that from happening.
This puts me in an interesting place. The door is more open than it's ever been. I am still waiting for more reshaping. That translates to losing more belly fat. It has been my big belly that's been holding me up in dropping sizes.
I am hoping that I will be able to fit into a 16 soon. I am happy with the 18's, but that's not where I want to land.
I noticed that cute clothes start (or end, depending on your POV) at size 14. My optimal goal would be a size 12. But, I will take what I can get. I am going to carry around extra skin for the rest of my life, a constant reminder of how far I let my self go. It's my cross to bear. It's the price I will pay for bad decisions, and I still have plenty of work ahead of me, but I am only 13 more lbs from goal. Everything beyond 185 is gravy.
Now, I make better decisions
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Close to Stabilizing, or Just a Nibble Thing...
This morning I weighed in at 199.6 and was thrilled, so I thought I would grab a picture of the scale. It had cycled through, so I stepped on again and it read 200.2. I tried 3 more times and 200.2 stayed steady, so I will take the .2 lb loss. Maybe I am getting close to stabilizing. Yesterday I did nibble a bit, I had a few pieces of beef jerky, and tried one of my zucchini fritters. Maybe these extras stopped me from getting into 'one'derland, or I am just finally becoming stable.
The joke would be on me if I stabilize at 200! I can't complain too much, in the past 8 months I shed 125 lbs!
I am planning to start Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred on Monday. I have used it in the past at 300 + lbs with good results (stronger core), so I am hoping that it won't be as difficult, especially those jumping jacks! Getting 300 lbs off Terra Firma is not easy! And, with smaller, less fatty boobs, I won't be giving myself black eyes every time I jump!
Once I start Jillian, I will stick to my eating plan, and any gains I will attribute to muscle. And yes, one pound of muscle weighs the same as one pound of fat, the difference is in the mass. One square inch of muscle weighs more than one square inch of fat, that's the difference. The Shred really packs on the muscle quickly. I just want to get my core in shape, a strong core is important to getting the rest of me strong. My focal points are going to be my belly and arms. Strong legs are a natural side effect of moving, plus, they are the largest muscles and build up quickly (hence the pain in your legs when you return to exercising).
Got to get ready to take the kids to Home Demonics...er,ah, Depot, they are going to build a fire engine. Don't forget, next week is Fire Safety Week!
The joke would be on me if I stabilize at 200! I can't complain too much, in the past 8 months I shed 125 lbs!
I am planning to start Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred on Monday. I have used it in the past at 300 + lbs with good results (stronger core), so I am hoping that it won't be as difficult, especially those jumping jacks! Getting 300 lbs off Terra Firma is not easy! And, with smaller, less fatty boobs, I won't be giving myself black eyes every time I jump!
Once I start Jillian, I will stick to my eating plan, and any gains I will attribute to muscle. And yes, one pound of muscle weighs the same as one pound of fat, the difference is in the mass. One square inch of muscle weighs more than one square inch of fat, that's the difference. The Shred really packs on the muscle quickly. I just want to get my core in shape, a strong core is important to getting the rest of me strong. My focal points are going to be my belly and arms. Strong legs are a natural side effect of moving, plus, they are the largest muscles and build up quickly (hence the pain in your legs when you return to exercising).
Got to get ready to take the kids to Home Demonics...er,ah, Depot, they are going to build a fire engine. Don't forget, next week is Fire Safety Week!
Thursday, October 4, 2012
It's Working (tentively)
Down another 1.6 lbs this morning, which puts me at 1.8 lbs below LDW.
I feel much better now. I am still hoping to see 199, although right now my goal isn't to be dropping weight, but instead to stabilize.
I am going to have to change up my diet, but not until next week, and once I stabilize (which I will soon, hopefully).
Everyone in the house is making me crazy! The Peanut has a sore throat, and is acting like it's the end of world. The old people are "needing" to go to the Dr.'s (I ran out my pills 3 weeks ago and I must have them NOW). The Colonel hurt his back (which always sucks) and he is at the "I hate my job" phase.
I really wanted to quit smoking, but my waking stress is incredibly high. I just won't stop now. I say "won't" because I am not really even trying.
Ah, but this too shall pass. I will drag everyone around to where they need to go. Take the old people to their Dr.'s, take the Peanut to his Dr., and get thru this with out killing anyone or breaking anything.
The Colonel asked about Thanksgiving, saying "I guess we are having a Paleo Thanksgiving", to which I replied, "Thanksgiving is pretty Paleo anyway, minus stuffing, rolls and mashed potatoes". After thinking about it for a minute, he realized that I was right. Most "holiday" food is fairly Paleo, and with some adjustments, I can Paleo-ize most of the non Paleo fare.
It's amazing how fast this year is going by! 122 lbs ago it was February! I have much more hope for 2013 being my year of getting strong! For years I would fool myself into thinking that this year or that year I would lose the weight and get to do more things, only to find that the year would be half over and I would still be super fat. Then I would apply myself for about 2 weeks, see minimal progress, and fall back into the fat oblivion.
Now it's different. Now I am at a place where I can launch myself into new experiences. I still see a fat woman, and of course I am still fat, but losing 100 + lbs certainly makes things easier. Now I don't sweat the 20 ish pounds that I still want to go. Now, I know that if I keep my diet reasonable, don't engage in any eating that is counter productive, I will succeed in reaching my goal. Real food, whole food, looking at labels (which most fat people do anyway), and keeping a running tally in my head of acceptable/not acceptable ingredients, is a way of life for me. Unfortunately, it is still a "food obsession", but I have to eat.
It is impossible to even imagine life that's not based around food. I have a friend (a skinny friend) that will forget to eat. How can anyone forget? I don't mean once in a great while, but on a daily basis. Too weird!
I have to work for that. I don't forget, I will choose. Right now, I choose to not eat dinner, mainly because I am not hungry, but, let me tell you, I could eat. There isn't a time that I can't not eat. Knowing that, and understanding that, helps keep me in line. I am hoping that someday I will just know when to and when not to eat, but I believe this will be my life long struggle. I am an addict. I am addicted to food. I am addicted to eating. I am a carbohydrate junkie. But, just because I "want" it, doesn't mean I should have it.
So far, I am winning, I can never let food have the upper hand. It's a chore, but the end is worth the work.
I feel much better now. I am still hoping to see 199, although right now my goal isn't to be dropping weight, but instead to stabilize.
I am going to have to change up my diet, but not until next week, and once I stabilize (which I will soon, hopefully).
Everyone in the house is making me crazy! The Peanut has a sore throat, and is acting like it's the end of world. The old people are "needing" to go to the Dr.'s (I ran out my pills 3 weeks ago and I must have them NOW). The Colonel hurt his back (which always sucks) and he is at the "I hate my job" phase.
I really wanted to quit smoking, but my waking stress is incredibly high. I just won't stop now. I say "won't" because I am not really even trying.
Ah, but this too shall pass. I will drag everyone around to where they need to go. Take the old people to their Dr.'s, take the Peanut to his Dr., and get thru this with out killing anyone or breaking anything.
The Colonel asked about Thanksgiving, saying "I guess we are having a Paleo Thanksgiving", to which I replied, "Thanksgiving is pretty Paleo anyway, minus stuffing, rolls and mashed potatoes". After thinking about it for a minute, he realized that I was right. Most "holiday" food is fairly Paleo, and with some adjustments, I can Paleo-ize most of the non Paleo fare.
It's amazing how fast this year is going by! 122 lbs ago it was February! I have much more hope for 2013 being my year of getting strong! For years I would fool myself into thinking that this year or that year I would lose the weight and get to do more things, only to find that the year would be half over and I would still be super fat. Then I would apply myself for about 2 weeks, see minimal progress, and fall back into the fat oblivion.
Now it's different. Now I am at a place where I can launch myself into new experiences. I still see a fat woman, and of course I am still fat, but losing 100 + lbs certainly makes things easier. Now I don't sweat the 20 ish pounds that I still want to go. Now, I know that if I keep my diet reasonable, don't engage in any eating that is counter productive, I will succeed in reaching my goal. Real food, whole food, looking at labels (which most fat people do anyway), and keeping a running tally in my head of acceptable/not acceptable ingredients, is a way of life for me. Unfortunately, it is still a "food obsession", but I have to eat.
It is impossible to even imagine life that's not based around food. I have a friend (a skinny friend) that will forget to eat. How can anyone forget? I don't mean once in a great while, but on a daily basis. Too weird!
I have to work for that. I don't forget, I will choose. Right now, I choose to not eat dinner, mainly because I am not hungry, but, let me tell you, I could eat. There isn't a time that I can't not eat. Knowing that, and understanding that, helps keep me in line. I am hoping that someday I will just know when to and when not to eat, but I believe this will be my life long struggle. I am an addict. I am addicted to food. I am addicted to eating. I am a carbohydrate junkie. But, just because I "want" it, doesn't mean I should have it.
So far, I am winning, I can never let food have the upper hand. It's a chore, but the end is worth the work.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
The Roller Coaster of Stabilizing
Good news, woke up to a 1.2 lb loss! Yea! Although a loss is great, I really need to be stable. I am hoping that I stabilize a bit lower, but I can live with where I am just for a while.
I am going to stick to the same plan I used yesterday. Breakfast of roast beef (heated in CO) and 1/2 an avocado. Lunch will be a big ass salad (BAS) of, you guessed it, roast beef (heated in CO and diced), 1/2 an avocado, cucumbers, tomatoes, on lettuce, with mustard as dressing. I upped my water, making sure I got in more than 64 oz.
I didn't have dinner, mainly 'cause I was filled up from the BAS and wasn't hungry, plus I won't eat after 3 pm.
We'll see how this goes, hopefully I will stabilize and then when I can see where I will land with Paleo. Hopefully, I will get below 200, then I will only have 15 lbs to go to get to 185, which I think is an obtainable goal. Not "fat" not "skinny" just healthy!
I will see what tomorrow holds!
I am going to stick to the same plan I used yesterday. Breakfast of roast beef (heated in CO) and 1/2 an avocado. Lunch will be a big ass salad (BAS) of, you guessed it, roast beef (heated in CO and diced), 1/2 an avocado, cucumbers, tomatoes, on lettuce, with mustard as dressing. I upped my water, making sure I got in more than 64 oz.
I didn't have dinner, mainly 'cause I was filled up from the BAS and wasn't hungry, plus I won't eat after 3 pm.
We'll see how this goes, hopefully I will stabilize and then when I can see where I will land with Paleo. Hopefully, I will get below 200, then I will only have 15 lbs to go to get to 185, which I think is an obtainable goal. Not "fat" not "skinny" just healthy!
I will see what tomorrow holds!
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Can't figure it out!
After a bit of a loss yesterday, I registered a gain today! Now I am sitting 1 lb over LDW. In the scheme of the universe, that's not a big deal, with my CDO (that's OCD in alphabetical order), it's bothering me. Mainly because I am comparing this time to last time, and R2 always seems to be a car wreck in comparison to R1.
Part of me is considering a Round 3 with hCG, just to get these last 20 lbs off. But, if I can't stabilize here at 205, how am I supposed to be stable at 185?
Well, I have a list of problems food, and other things (like not enough water, meal times, etc). Once I stabilize, I will be able to test them all out. So, here's how I stand
I can eat most P2 foods (fruit shouldn't be eaten during P3, so that's a non issue).
I can add fats (CO, EVOO, avocados).
I have to keep portions small (kind of a duh statement).
Eat more veggies (good advice at any time).
No starchy foods for the time being (really shouldn't be introduced until P4).
Keep my water level up (64 + ounces daily).
Keep moving, walking and exercising.
Eat breakfast and a late lunch, no food after 5 pm (moved from 7 pm, so dinner with the fam is out!).
And, of course, I will add some rules and subtract some rules, as I get stabilized.
Depending on what happens tomorrow, I may have to do one more steak day. The last one was a bust, maybe due to the J. Lee Roy's (the world's best dipping sauce made right here in Oroville!), so it will just be a broiled (possibly grilled) steak and a tomato (what a thrill! NOT!!!!!).
If I hold steady tomorrow, or even experience a loss (preferred), then I will repeat everything I am doing today, then see what Thursday has in store.
This just might be my body being my body. I am not eating grains or legumes, very few, if any processed foods (I guess J. Lee Roy's counts as a processed food, I am sure the caveman didn't have "dipping sauce").
So at some point I should level out.
Like I posted before, I have to keep perspective on the whole thing (no matter how pissy I am getting!). I am doing great, and my head is in the game, now to get my bod to cooperate!.
Part of me is considering a Round 3 with hCG, just to get these last 20 lbs off. But, if I can't stabilize here at 205, how am I supposed to be stable at 185?
Well, I have a list of problems food, and other things (like not enough water, meal times, etc). Once I stabilize, I will be able to test them all out. So, here's how I stand
I can eat most P2 foods (fruit shouldn't be eaten during P3, so that's a non issue).
I can add fats (CO, EVOO, avocados).
I have to keep portions small (kind of a duh statement).
Eat more veggies (good advice at any time).
No starchy foods for the time being (really shouldn't be introduced until P4).
Keep my water level up (64 + ounces daily).
Keep moving, walking and exercising.
Eat breakfast and a late lunch, no food after 5 pm (moved from 7 pm, so dinner with the fam is out!).
And, of course, I will add some rules and subtract some rules, as I get stabilized.
Depending on what happens tomorrow, I may have to do one more steak day. The last one was a bust, maybe due to the J. Lee Roy's (the world's best dipping sauce made right here in Oroville!), so it will just be a broiled (possibly grilled) steak and a tomato (what a thrill! NOT!!!!!).
If I hold steady tomorrow, or even experience a loss (preferred), then I will repeat everything I am doing today, then see what Thursday has in store.
This just might be my body being my body. I am not eating grains or legumes, very few, if any processed foods (I guess J. Lee Roy's counts as a processed food, I am sure the caveman didn't have "dipping sauce").
So at some point I should level out.
Like I posted before, I have to keep perspective on the whole thing (no matter how pissy I am getting!). I am doing great, and my head is in the game, now to get my bod to cooperate!.
Monday, October 1, 2012
It's all in the perspective.
Steak day produced zero results. On the plus side, I didn't gain either. I am really bummed out about being .8 lbs over my LDW. I was hoping to be at (or even below) 200 by now. It's only been a week, but what a roller coaster. Down by 2lbs, now up 2.8 lbs. I am still within ballpark of my LDW, but I don't want to be. I want to be smaller, lighter, losing!!!
I have taken to walking nightly with the Littles. We trekked down to Boss Burger, no, we didn't stop to eat. But it was about 1/2 mile round trip, both down hill and back up. None of us got winded, none of us collapsed. This time it was both the Pookers and the Peanut who accompanied me. The Pookers is really good at keeping a running conversation (and I thought I talked too much! So, he must get that from me!).
I almost stopped doing the LRx, but decided that 7 days in isn't a fair shake for a 6 week process, so I will see it thru to the bitter (or maybe better) end.
I really want to get into the CrossFit, but I am as weak as a kitten, in fact, I think kittens are stronger! With the walking and floor exercises I might just get strong enough to start Jillian's 30 Day Shred, but I hate exercising in front of people, and I never get any privacy. 'Course, even if I could get a room and TV to myself, I would be pestered every 2 minutes by Littles, Parental Units, and household personnel that just can't live without me!
*It's Monday*
Two day posting, awesome. Well, today is a bit better. I am not so pissy! And I am down .6 lbs, I know that's not much, but I will take it.
I have to shop today. First is to get me something to survive on, next is to get the carb crunchers what they want.
As far as the kids go, the battle will start again. Yesterday, at dinner, The Colonel thought that them having hamburger buns was a great idea (it wasn't), so we are back to square one with the bread. I wish that the adults of the house would take a bit of interest in their health. I also wish they would respect my choices for me and my children.
All my battles are uphill. Fighting all the humans in my house. Fighting my own body. Fighting my cigarette cravings (although I am doing real well this morning, so far!).
Well, I am giving out my Xena yell, and pulling my sword. Bring it on!
I have taken to walking nightly with the Littles. We trekked down to Boss Burger, no, we didn't stop to eat. But it was about 1/2 mile round trip, both down hill and back up. None of us got winded, none of us collapsed. This time it was both the Pookers and the Peanut who accompanied me. The Pookers is really good at keeping a running conversation (and I thought I talked too much! So, he must get that from me!).
I almost stopped doing the LRx, but decided that 7 days in isn't a fair shake for a 6 week process, so I will see it thru to the bitter (or maybe better) end.
I really want to get into the CrossFit, but I am as weak as a kitten, in fact, I think kittens are stronger! With the walking and floor exercises I might just get strong enough to start Jillian's 30 Day Shred, but I hate exercising in front of people, and I never get any privacy. 'Course, even if I could get a room and TV to myself, I would be pestered every 2 minutes by Littles, Parental Units, and household personnel that just can't live without me!
*It's Monday*
Two day posting, awesome. Well, today is a bit better. I am not so pissy! And I am down .6 lbs, I know that's not much, but I will take it.
I have to shop today. First is to get me something to survive on, next is to get the carb crunchers what they want.
As far as the kids go, the battle will start again. Yesterday, at dinner, The Colonel thought that them having hamburger buns was a great idea (it wasn't), so we are back to square one with the bread. I wish that the adults of the house would take a bit of interest in their health. I also wish they would respect my choices for me and my children.
All my battles are uphill. Fighting all the humans in my house. Fighting my own body. Fighting my cigarette cravings (although I am doing real well this morning, so far!).
Well, I am giving out my Xena yell, and pulling my sword. Bring it on!
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