Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Excerpt-More of what I am doing...

OK ladies, here we go. Your first step is easy: Devote time to God. We already know that we can't lose any weight on our own, if we could, we wouldn't be overweight in the first place. Pray and read the Bible. When you pray, let God know that He needs to be on call. We all have control issues, none of us have any control, what we have is the illusion of control. We have to let go of the reins, we are slowly killing ourselves with a fork. If we give our control issues to God, and let Him tell you when you are hungry. God created a wonderful system to let us know when we're hungry. We can override it anytime we want, but why? Overriding the system is what got us where we are.

What does "hungry" feel like? If you focus inward, bring your attention down to your stomach, if you have just eaten, you can feel the fullness. Your stomach, in it's natural position is as big as your fist. Make a fist, see? That is how big your stomach really is. God made it so that it stretches, why? So it doesn't explode if you eat and drink too much. Now, people have actually exploded their stomachs, not a pretty sight. You die. No mystery, the acid in your stomach burns out everything else. Stomach acid is equal to battery acid. Got it? Why am I starting here? Because we can eat, whether we want to or not. If we become aware of our stomachs, then it becomes easier to recognize when you are really hungry. You have felt hungry, it starts as a slow burn (your stomach releasing acid to begin the digestion process), now, it's important to realize you might not really be hungry, so focus on your stomach. Drink a glass of water, it will cool the burn and settle your tummy down. The plus side of water is it never interfere with true hunger. If your stomach is rumbling, you are hungry, that is a sure sign. Especially, if you haven't eaten for a while!

Now comes the real hard part, our emotions. I don't know about you ladies, I am always "hungry". I drive past a fast food restaurant, and I think about my favorite item that establishment serves. I am having a bad day, I want to eat something sweet to "treat" myself to something good. My beloved, not realizing, would offer sweets (candy bar, ice cream, mocha coffee) to make me feel better. Wait, today was great, something good happened, I should....celebrate! I should have a "treat" because today is .....special. I am bored, what to do, what to do, wander around, wander into the kitchen, oh, chips, bbq, munch, munch, munch, no that's not what I want. Hmm, there are some leftovers, oh, here is leftover spaghetti, there is at least 3 servings here, I was going to give it to the kids for lunch. I will make them something different, come on microwave too slow. Well, I ate all that spaghetti, but that's not what I want, how about..... Have you ever done this (you don't have to answer), I have. I have wandered through my kitchen, snacking, tasting, eating leftovers, pulling stuff from the freezer. Why? I am bored. I can't find anything better to do than eat. Emotions and the next culprit, habits. When I come home from the grocery store, my mind is racing about what am I going to make FIRST, first, not what I should eat, period. What I should eat first! Habit. These are the biggest of our problems. Emotional eating. Habitual eating. These have to be given to the Lord. I actually have a confession. Tonight, at dinner, I wasn't paying attention. I should have waited for dinner, but out of HABIT, I sat with the family, loaded my plate (habit), poured the dressing on my salad (habit), crumbled up 5 crackers (habit). Then started right in, after 2 bites, I realized that I was already full, did I stop eating? No, I just wanted a little more salad, a bite more of pork sandwich, and just one more bbq chip. Didn't follow my own advice. Now I am sitting here feeling blotted, and embarrassed at relying on myself. After grace, I didn't even give God the courtesy to be proactive and stop and ask forgiveness. I grabbed the reins from the Lord Himself! I have no excuse, I was lax. I took my eyes off the prize. Bad day aside, because I was paying attention, I managed to bake a cake and not lick the bowl or spoon! I let myself get distracted, by emotions, and bam! right back to old habits. It's going to happen ladies, our emotions are powerful, but if we rely on God, invite him to manage your life. He'll take good care of you, as He always has, but there is a pay off at the end, our payoff is in weight loss!

Where to start? What to do? Start NOW by focusing on your stomach. Have you eaten? Are you full? Have you not eaten all day and are hungry? If you have eaten, but it was a while ago, feel the feeling of how your stomach feels (feeling anything? Some things are just hard to describe). Is it quiet? Comfortable? That's where we want to be. Are you full? Stuffed yourself (like I just did), feeling blotted? You don't want to be here, your stomach is stretched! Is your stomach growling with a burn? Drink a glass of water, feel it go down. Is your stomach growling 10 minutes later? You are hungry eat.

To eat. Eat what you want. Don't get silly, ladies, no, you can't just eat ice cream and cake! But have what you feel like. We have been doing hot dogs and burgers alot, it feels like summer. Have that, let's say a hot dog. Put one or two condiments, my normal routine is to put on every condiment in the fridge, now I am down to ketchup and mustard. Why, turns out that when you are eating slowly, food has taste. Don't count, I am not a lawyer, so don't be legal. Chew. Chew thoroughly. Taste the food (the lesson I learned!). Now, stop, put down the hot dog, fork, or whatever. Wait. Feel the food going down. Focus is the key. If you need a distraction, offer to go get someone a drink, or sip some water, not wash your food down, but sip the water AFTER you have swallowed. Have a bite of something else, you want the best part of the salad, you know the middle, where the dressing is pooled. Have that, enjoy it.

Where am I going with this? As I told Anna, we have to learn to eat like skinny people. Watch them sometimes.

They pick at their food. They stop eating, sometimes for what seems like forever, then start again, having a bite or two, then stop again. They ALWAYS leave food on their plate. Their plate looks like a bomb went off on it. It actually looks like they stirred the food into a big mess, and didn't eat a thing. Why? They are in tune with their stomachs. They eat when they are hungry, and stop when they are done, not necessarily full, but not hungry anymore. It's the same with people who have had their stomach stapled or cut out, but this way saves you $30,000! Your stomach will naturally shrink back to it's real size. Look at your fist again. Focus on your stomach. Focus, eat what you want, eat slowly, stop when your stomach is satisfied, but not full.

When not to eat: When you are on a emotional roller coaster. If you are turning to food out of habit. It's OK to not eat with the family. Sit with them, sip a non calorie drink (whatever you like, but water is best), and enjoy your family.

Exercise: exercise will take care of itself. You have to eat x amount of calories to keep the weight on. I personally need 3,000 to 3,500 calories a day to stay at 300 lbs. Since I have not been taking in that much, I have managed to lose 10 lbs in just over a week. No exercise, no starvation (although in an emotional click it felt like it). Why? because I am not taking in enough calories to stay at 300 lbs. This great, quick weight loss will not last, my body, and yours will adjust. That's when exercise will become key. That doesn't mean you have Carte Blanche to sit around. Do get out and walk. I will put my exercise step in front of the TV and watch a movie and step. That isn't because I want to exercise, what I don't want to do is graze. I am focusing on my stomach, it's not hungry, in fact, it's settled and quiet, but emotionally, I am bored, I want to eat "just for something to do". So, I watch the movie and step. After about a half hour, I am feeling good, tired, but good, I am paying attention! I am using logic (hard for us as women sometimes!) to overcome a logical problem.

How much you ladies want to post is up to you, for those who aren't willing, please send me a friend request, and I will add you! I post just about every day. For me, I need the accountability, if you need the accountable part, but don't want to post publicly, I will respond to private messages, and keep confidences. I know the embarrassment of being fat. I share so openly, because you can't make this stuff up. You, all of you, especially those who are 100 lbs over weight think we are alone in our daily battles. I have to move my belly to wash, I know. I have split my pants in public (just over a week ago!). I have to squeeze to get into a booth at a restaurant, and barely can get into a movie theater seat. Seat belts that won't go all the way around to buckle, been there! If you think you are alone, you're not. I am there right with you. Please know that I love each and everyone of you! You all are a blessing to me. You encourage me so much!

In love and faithfulness in God Almighty, Rusty

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