It is day 13 of my LRx/P3. Things are going pretty good. I am still 3.2 lbs below my last drop weight (ldw). During this last week I have jumped up and down a pound here and there. Mainly stresses of life. My In-laws have moved into our house, and getting them (and their stuff) settled has been a bit of doing.
We are having a yard sale this weekend, hoping to make some $$$ for Pin-A-Go-Go (pinball games in Dixon, CA). We have tons of stuff that we are getting rid of, plus my I-L's stuff too. All of which is piled up in our driveway. The weather forecast is for rain on Thursday, so we got to get the stuff sorted, and put up on pallets and covered. Friday we will be doing set up. All of which is taking a toll on everyone, but I am feeling the added pressure of taking care of the house, and getting things organized. Hopefully, in a couple of weeks, everything will calm down.
What does any of this have to do with my Journey? Well, everything. I am feeling like I want to eat (stress/boredom/emotional upheaval). I tell my Colonel that I want to eat, and he just says "don't". It's in the voicing that I want to head down that road that keeps me on the straight and narrow. With my food limited (no snacking, no chips, no sugar, no grains) and not having access to the things I would "cheat" with, also helps when these things kick in.
There are so many reasons why people get fat. Most people can diet, and lose those extra 5 or 10 lbs that they pick up through bad choices. Others, like me, have excuses to eat. Stress and boredom being the major factors. When stressed, depressed, lonely or bored, folks like me turn to our one and only friend, food. Sweet treats (if you are good you'll get a treat!) and high carbs (bread, tortillas, pasta), are our go to foods. The trick is learning that "food" is not a comforter. Food is a necessity to survive. There is no getting away from it, at some point, we all have to eat. Learning that we should not turn to food in times of pain or times of joy, is a hard lesson. The media tells us that if we feel bad food will help us feel good. That if we are rushed and have to save time, fast food restaurants will help us make up for lost time. We are told that if we love someone, we should show it with food. These messages have permeated our brains and our lives. What's a birthday without cake? A anniversary without a fine dinner? A holiday of friends and loved ones sitting around a table full of food? Feeling bad and eating ice cream to feel better? A funeral without a wake? Food.
Not everyone can be blessed with a close family and good friends. People, in your life you can trust and turn to. Then again, you can have all of this, and still turn to food. It boils down to what do you want from your life? So many times I have heard people say, well, that's fine for you, but it won't work for me because I can't live without fill in the blank. It could be something as mundane as diet soda. Really, you HAVE to have diet soda to survive? Especially with my family and I going Primal/Paleo, I hear, "but I LOVE bread!!!" Yeah, so do I, and have the girth to prove it. You choose. If you choose bread, sugar, diet soda, whatever to be first in your life, then that's on you. You can't blame the media, the fast food joints, the holidays, your Mother, or anything else. If you are over 18, you are an adult, and you must make and be responsible for your choices. I would love to say that I got to 349 lbs (at my worst) because there was someone who tied me down and shoved the food down my throat. Nope, that didn't happen. I was pregnant (and already fat) and took it as Carte Blanc to keep eating for "two", when in all actuality, I was eating for emotional fulfillment. Why? I really couldn't say. I had everything already. A happy marriage, a new baby on the way, a lovely home, and still that wasn't enough. There was a big hole in me. I was trying to fill it up, fill it up with food.
Do you have a hole in you? A large, black chasm? Are you shoving food down your throat, hoping at some point it will be enough? Can you see that one excuse after another is just making you feel worse? Then you eat some more? Just spiralling down?
There is no magic pill. There are no motivational speakers who will keep you on track. No get thin scheme that will work. You have to choose. Do you want to live or die? Do you want to be in a body where you can do anything and everything you want? Then you have to decide. Is diet soda making it possible for you to fit in that movie theater seat? When you are pairing diet soda with Ben and Jerry's, are you really saving calories?
When you run out of excuses, and are ready to get down to brass tacks, then your journey will begin. Your journey to health and fitness. I am not asking you to be a walking coat hanger (like the supermodels), I am asking you to join me in the ranks of health (supermodels aren't healthy, they are just skinny).
My journey is underway. I have spent 3 months working on getting healthy, and have a long distance still to go. You may have not yet stepped out on the road. You might be eating a Subway sandwich while reading this. Yes, that sandwich (chips, ice cream, soda...) tastes good. In all honesty, will you drop dead if you don't eat them again? Are they really making you feel better? Can you finish them without guilt?
Join me. Learn about the foods you eat. Take that first step. Then another. Maybe one more. Don't sell yourself (or your life) short. Maybe you feel that no one cares for you? Then you need to care for yourself! As you get healthy (side effect: thinner), you will find that you can start be discerning about the people in your life now, and in the future. Who wants the best for you? Who truly loves you?
Please, love yourself. It does sound hokey, I know. But no matter who you have to take care of, if you don't put your health first, you won't be able to take care of anyone. Love yourself enough to stop your slow and painful death. You are digging your own grave and using a fork. You may not like all the new foods that you will be exposed to. You may miss fast foods and treats (by the way, they aren't gone forever, and you may find that down the road they aren't as good as you thought). Give yourself time. I have devoted this year, 2012, to getting healthy. I am devoting the rest of my life to staying that way. Life is more than pizza. There is so much life that I have missed out on. Have you missed out on opportunities? Have you missed the fun things? Was weight or feeling that you were too fat, stopped you from doing the things that you want?
I don't care what the "fat" people say, no one is happy being fat (again, I am not talking about 5, 10 or even and extra 20 lbs). No one wants to be judged weak willed, lazy, stinky, or stupid. PS: that whole fat people are jolly BS? Is just that, BS. We aren't happy, we are hiding. We are trying to be accepted, by anyone. We want to love and to be loved. We have to start by loving ourselves enough to step out of our comfort zone, and take a chance. Will you take a chance? Will you learn to love yourself? Join me.